Sharlona White: Gone Too Soon

Last Wednesday, July 22, 2009, a dear friend of mine, Sharlona White died as a result of a senseless act of violence committed against her by someone she knew well. She was 33 years old.

Sharlona was her own woman.

She was a mother of two, and in order to raise her children, she started her own business, ZnZ Wear (www.znzwear.com) and made a wonderful name for her within the community.

Sharlona was the most positive, upbeat person I have ever known. In the nearly two years that I had the pleasure of knowing her, I never heard her speak an ill word to or about anyone. And she never let others put themselves down, always seeing the upside to every situation, and finding something positive in all of life.

Her life ended too soon. But the impact she has made on others in her world will live on.

So often, we lament about getting older. We complain about our wrinkles, our sags, our bulges, our aches and pains. We complain about how life has treated us unfairly in any number of situations. And we live our lives trying to fit into the world's image of what we should be.

Recently, I found the following prose (author unknown), which I think epitomizes what Sharlona might have said to others, had she lived into old age.

I only hope that I can show others her spirit for as long as I'm allowed to live my life.

Thank you, Sharlona White, for gracing me with your love and friendship. I will miss you.

***
"I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

"I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

"Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

"I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

"I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

"Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

"I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

"As you get older, it is easier to be positive.. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

"I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

"And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it)." ~~ Author unknown