SHONEY'S, Why I Will NEVER Eat There Again, No BUGS About It.....

Friday, September the fourth two thousand and nine was just another average evening out shopping when I decided that I was hungry. My girl and I had originally intended to go to Subway, however, I was in the mood for something a little more substantial, so I talked her into going to Shoney's, a place which is more nostalgic for me than anything else. You have to understand that I am somewhat of a germaphobe, so I try to stay away from fast food joints and tend to lean toward family restaurants where there is at least a since of cleanliness.

When I was younger my family often ate at Shoney's. When I was a teenager, my mother was the manager of Shoney's of Cookeville on South Willow Avenue. When I was eighteen, I met my first wife at Shoney's as she was the hostess at the South Willow location. I would often go there for lunch, dinner or the late night drunken breakfast. So, Shoney's was a little more than just a restaurant to me, it was like an extended family.

Back to Friday night, I ordered the Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich. When it arrived I decided that there was just way too much bread and not enough steak. I took the top bun off the sandwich and scraped the cheese off the bread and put it on the steak and set the top of the bun aside. I then took a bite of the sandwich and a bite of one of my onion rings. My girl ordered a Turkey Club Sandwich, which is ironic because we could have gotten basically the same thing at Subway. Anyway, my girl eats one corner of her sandwich before I notice something on the top of my bun.

My eyes aren't as good as they used to be, at first I thought that maybe what I was seeing was char from the steak or maybe a slice of burnt onion. On closer inspection I realized that it was a pincher bug, at least that's what we called them when I was little. Out of pure disgust I pushed my food back and had my girl do the same. I then called the waitress over, who I might add was really nice, and she took it to the back to show the manager. I instructed her not to throw it away but to bring it back. About two minutes later the manager, a short stout bitter looking woman came out.

In the mean time the waitress had returned the bug bun. Now this is what really pissed me off. The manager came to my table and first thing said, "I am so sorry sir, is there anything else I can bring you?" "No!" I replied. Then her big explanation, "Sir, that bug came out of the lettuce, I have had them throw it all out!" She stated with all the authority of a kindergartner. I then pointed out that there was NO LETTUCE on my sandwich. She looked at me like I caught her stealing cookies. She then offered to take the sandwich off my bill, I then informed her that I was not paying for anything.

Now this is where your thinking that I was in this for a free meal, if that was true, I would have eaten first. All I had was two bites of my dinner, if you want to call it that. After thinking about it, the bug was embedded in the top of the bun. So, it was obvious to me that the cook had to have seen it when making the sandwich. I wouldn't doubt that the BASTARD put it in my meal, as it was late and he wanted everyone to eat off the breakfast bar and was mad because he/she actually had to work. I would have liked to have beaten him within an inch of his life, however, modern manners and that pesky law thing prevents such instant justice.

However, before I left, I stood up and announced to everyone in the restaurant what I had found in my food. I noticed that they kept eating, how disgusting. You know that these people are sick, they had to have known. If they didn't notice, then they are incompetent and have no business working in any restaurant. Now it will be a long time before I can eat out again. In fact, I can hardly eat now, as it still turns my stomach. So, I encourage all of you to go eat at Shoney's so that you will be sure to get plenty of protein. One last note, this REAL EVENT took place at Shoney's of Cookeville, Tennessee on South Jefferson Avenue about ten thirty that night.

Shoney's, if you really want to get back to the business that you used to have, go back to the dinner model. Hack the prices, put the cooks out front and TOTALLY revamp management. However, I doubt you do any of this. Also, if you don't believe me, check out the pics I took with my phone. Not the best images ever, but unlike the managers suggestion, I just wasn't going to bring the damn thing home with me, I am sure it wound up in someone else's dinner, hope it wasn't yours.......