Short Attention Man Vs. The Movies

You know what's bugging me lately, besides a total lack of focus by columnists and those in the information media that I find totally disgusting? Movies! Or, more to the point, the fact that Hollywood will take any old TV show and run it onto the screen like we're just supposed to throw our money at it and it need not be good. Come on, people!

All it takes is a little creativity to make a work that truly stands out. Do a little research, and you'll find something to write about!

I've got this great idea for an article. It's about these ghosts, and a island in South Carolina, and one of the ghosts only show up when a hurricane is coming, and if you leave town, your house will be fine, while others who don't lose everything. Wait...oh, a writer named Jennifer Eblin beat me to it on Associated Content. That place sounds fam...

Like I was saying, originality! Research! Hard work! Like me, I don't copy a thing! Everything I write is all my own, I don't even use cliches! And you can take that to the bank. And...I'm still off topic, aren't I?

Movies like "Underdog," "Bewitched" (for the 12 of you who saw that, you know what I mean), and "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" are examples of this disturbing trend.

I've got it! I heard of this Mascot Hall of Fame somewhere, and that's kind of off the beaten path. I mean, who's gonna write about that? Oh, I see, Lee Andrew Henderson did, on that doggone Associated Content again. There's got to be something...

Like, um, like the "Charlie's Angels" movies for example. I mean, sure, hot chicks in revealing outfits, kicking rearends in fun and innovative ways, that's fun no matter what, and God bless 'em, but come on, you can put that in another context, right? Work with me here, Hollywood. Convent, early 16th century. The nuns are threatened by the local sheriff, who's gone horribly wrong. There's no hope, until...Sister Mary Firepants shows up! And she's got a crossbow and karate, and she's not afraid to use them!

I've got it, and this one is sure-fire, can't miss, it'll pass with...right, no cliches. OK, a history of nude art, how its viewed, history, the highbrows will love it, and I can reach out and grab the casual reader with my...huh? Darn Google! It found this Daniel Kretschmer article on...no! ASSOCIATED CONTENT! Who are these people to...

In conclusion, I address this last message to Hollywood, as a lover of all things original (and, uh, available at a reasonable price to provide some work, call me, hee-hee), my own original words and feelings on the subject, that you won't find anywhere else!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness...

And you can quote me! Bet you won't find that anywhere else, will ya?

(Editor's Note: Yes, I am currently thinking of firing the guy, but before I do, please note that all three articles mentioned above are in the links to the left and that last plagiarism was from Dickens. I know I didn't have to tell you that, but him...well, you know.)