Short Term Couples Therapy

Couples seeking counseling for marital un-bliss often confuse temporary relief from permanent life-changing solutions. Their goal, it would seem, is to check off another item on their rapidly growing "to-do" list. But, they're not to blame. American culture in the 21st century is the real culprit.

Much of the blame for this short-sighted approach to marital transformation lies at the feet of advertising agencies, who along with the corporations they represent, have succeeded in convincing the American public that faster is better. Need I use technology as the perfect example? But, there's a more subtle, more insidious theme that underlies promotional messages in today's society. It's what hinders couples from focusing on the long-term success of their relationship and prevents them from committing to counseling, and to their marriages.

It's almost impossible to remain committed to anything in ones life when the promise of something better lies within ones reach. The "grass is always greener on the other side," mentality has never been more prevalent than now. Television advertising offers a constant drip, drip, drip of products and services that have one come-hither allure....you should have/own the best, and if you're not currently satisfied with the product/service you now own, we have the solution for you!

No where is the temptation to sacrifice the proven for the probable more evident than in marriages. It's hardly surprising that couples are often quick to jettison a tried-and-true spouse for the seductive fantasy that supposedly awaits in another's arms (clutches?). Sadly, the fantasy of a richer, more exciting life with someone else more often than not, results in folly.

Corporate America need not take all the blame. The counseling profession has also succumbed, in a manner of speaking, to the allure of instant and profitable gain. Short-term counseling is not just a time-oriented concept but a therapeutically-designated type of counseling. Primarily, it was given life to accommodate third-party (insurance) reimbursement which often limits the number of co-pay or paid counseling sessions. Whenever money becomes a motivating factor, one has to question the heart of those involved.

Most marital issues require an introspective depth not possible when a time factor is in play. It's akin to playing half a football game, or five innings of a nine inning baseball game. You get the final score but not the flavor of the game. Not only do the results often leave unanswered questions but the healing process is aborted prematurely denying each spouse the opportunity to grow toward emotional maturity.

Even the counseling profession's justification for Short-term therapy leaves room for criticism. Supposedly Ideal candidates would include couples who still believe they are in-love as well as those who are willing to change and be open about their own role in marriage dysfunction. Couples who would benefit least from this type of counseling would be those who have waited an extended period before seeking help, and/or where one or both of the spouses have given up on the marriage and have sought legal counsel for a divorce.

I'd suggest, at the very least, that Short-term therapy would be more beneficial in just the reverse. It's not often that couples who have made the decision to divorce, or who have waited until the marriage is practically irreconcilable find redemption. Spending multiple sessions with these couples rarely results in marital peace and harmony. Yet, couples who remain loving, and who actively accept their own contributions to the issues in their marriage, should be the ones that receive the most attention....and time.

The advice for couples seeking professional counseling - don't include the number of sessions, or lack thereof, as a criteria for the potential of success. Steer away from counselors who encourage you to focus on just the presenting issue and not on all the other lifestyle factors and issues that comprise life in the 21st century. Counseling is all about relationship building on both sides of the therapeutic couch. That type of bonding doesn't occur when you're counting the minutes.