Should I Get My Child a Cell Phone?

Should my child get a cell phone? Is it something he or she needs, or something they want just because everyone else has one? What issues do you need to look at before you rush out to buy your child a cell phone? Are you giving into advertising pressure or peer pressure, because it is the "In" thing to do? Are you wasting money or filling a real need?

For the last two years our now eleven year old daughter had been wistfully dropping comments longing for her own cell phone so she can have one "like all my friends have Mommy". That argument has never worked on me. It wouldn't have worked on my father either.

I can't deny that other kids have them. I can't say to her that she is just wanting something that everyone else doesn't have. She isn't saying something I can't see with my own eyes. The fact is many middle school children have them now. In fact in her two previous elementary schools, many of the younger children had them too. I see the children coming out of her middle school now when school ends. Many of them automatically have the cell up to their ears, as soon as they leave school grounds.

Parents all know what time the children get out of school. Some children have after school activities to go to on their own. Some of the children use the phones to let the parents know they are on the way home. With many houses having full time working parents, they can't always be home when the children get home from school.

It is a nice safety measure. It gives those working parents a little sense of control and security to know when the children are off school grounds and on their way home. Older children don't always have childcare. It isn't required after a certain age. Some parents opt not to use that service to save money. Many school don't offer bus service now with budget cuts.

There are also parents who may work from home or have other siblings who can't always be hurried into the car at pick up time. For their child to have a cell phone gives them some control and peace of mind. My daughter always has someone to pick her up or walk with her.

The reality is first of all, that it would be totally a luxury item on my budget. Secondly I can't afford one for her. I sat down with her and had a realistic conversation about her having her very own cell phone. I said that she didn't really need one and there was no way I could pay for it anyhow. When I am in a better financial situation, then we would do it. She had no choice but to accept that fact. I couldn't be pressured into doing something I just couldn't handle financially. She had to accept that.

She knows the financial reality. I don't deny her wanting one, but in her case it isn't really necessary. At 11, someone is always with her. She isn't going off to a lot of events. Even when I am out of the country with my husband and stepson,, she is never alone. She is a very social child, but is not in a lot of extra curricular teams or activities that require her to be away much. I can see some necessity for a cell phone then, especially for a parent that has to do a lot of shuffling with more than one child. That may change, but for now, that aspect of it is not a necessity for us either.

As far as having the "in" thing, that has never been much of a driving force for me, even when I was her age. If I liked it, it was because I liked it or needed it. It wasn't because every one else had one.

Now children are inundated with advertising that feeds into the buying frenzy. It is too often fed into them to say that I want that, I want that, without complete thought to the repercussions and costs. This is especially true in the case of cell phones. It isn't a one time purchase thing. There is an ongoing bill attached to it, even with a prepaid phone.

I know for me a cell phone is an absolute necessity. It is often the only means of communication I have with my husband and stepson when I am away from them. It is my lifeline. When I am away from my daughter it is my lifeline to her every day. It is also the only phone I have. It is no luxury. It is a definite necessity. It is how I try to find work and reach friends and family with whom I would have no contact otherwise. I would be dead in the water.

When she goes places away from home, she is with people who either have their own cell phones or would contact me or the sitter instantly if need be. If she isn't with hubby and me, or the sitter, she is with the ex or someone I have trust in to take care of her, without having to call me every two seconds. I am extremely protective.

Then this past Christmas came. Her godfather, auntie and two big "sisters" wanted to get her something she really wanted for Christmas. They took her shopping. They let her pick what she wanted within reason. They are, after all. on a budget too in this recession.

She came home from shopping happy as could be. They had bought her her own cell phone. I wasn't thrilled, but what was done was done. I immediately sat her down . We talked about the rules of its usage.

One it was not to go to school with her. We have had real issues with thefts of her things at school this year.

Two she had to realize even though they had given her generous time card to charge it with, once that was empty, I have no way to recharge it for her just yet. She is pretty careful with what little money she gets from different sources, but that isn't much. She has to be aware of every minute she uses.

Three she had to use it very sparingly. Even texts cost money on the limited plan she has. That would eat through her money quickly.

Of course she wanted to test both the calling and the texting. I couldn't deny her that initial fun. I would have been thrilled too if I was her, at her age. She tried it a few times. She gives out her number sparingly. She does like seeing a text come in now and then. If nothing else it is a good lesson in time management, in relation to budgeting.

She has the hang of it. Many of the prepaid cards have a date limit. Hers does and she has said to me that when it gets really close to the card time expiring, if she has time left, she is going to use it all up in a spree. That is pretty smart. It is fine with me. If the time is paid for and it is there still to use at the end, then she should use it however she likes. Why let the card and phone company get the money for nothing? She is going to use every available minute she has, even if it means it isn't until the last couple days before it expires.

She feels very grown up with her own cell phone. She is handling it responsibly. One added advantage is it is a motivator. If she doesn't do her assigned chores and school work, the privilege can be taken away. That means something to her.

Her Ipod is now confiscated for a similar reason, until she earns it back. Her father, stepfather and I have all told her with privelege, comes responsibility. You have to earn and maintain that privelege . Nothing is a free ride. That includes cell phones.

In her case owning a cell phone it is not a necessity yet, but a luxury. When her minutes run out, she has to decide if she wants to use her own money to recharge the card for her cell phone, or perhaps ask for that for her upcoming birthday from relatives. Either way it is a growing up lesson for her. So far she is handling it well.

Cell phones are definitely a necessary part of many people lives now. That is true for many children too. Decide though if it is a necessity or the "in" thing to do before you give in. Then whichever choice you make, be sure your child understands all aspects of its usage from costs, to hidden costs, to privileges. Reinforce what you teach them with the ownership and usage of a cell phone too. Too often parents complain that children don't understand the value of a dollar. They also need to know what is involved in earning and using that dollar to its maximum benefit. This is a perfect chance to teach children all of those things.