Should Your Child Be the Center of Your Home?

The idea goes something like this, "When you have children, your relationship with your spouse gets put in second place. Children are now your priority and your marriage comes second. This is healthy and right." I couldn't disagree more. Most parents realize that everything they do sends some type of message to their child. It isn't just what we say that influences our child, it is even more-so what we do that teaches and molds young minds.

What does it teach your child when you abruptly cut off a conversation with your spouse to listen to what your child has to say? What are you teaching when you scrap the weekly family night at home because one of your kids just "needs" to see the newest movie with his friends instead? How about when you give up your night out with your spouse because your child is having a melt-down and demanding that you stay home?

Think briefly about some of the qualities you most admire in other adults. Some descriptions at the top of the list might be concern for others, honesty, ability to compromise, trustworthiness, and dependability. Now think about some characteristics in other people that irritate you. Arrogance, self-centeredness, selfishness, and brusqueness might come to mind.

When you let your child interrupt, you are teaching him to be an interrupter. Don't fall into the trap that says, "You can teach a child to be polite when he is older." It won't work! Teach your child to take turns and wait to be answered as a toddler and you won't have to deal with a "me-first" mentality as a grade-schooler. If you allow your child to run your home now, you are also teaching him that he has the right to run everyone else in his life. Practically speaking, if you raise a self-centered child, he will have a harder time making and keeping friends as a child, and jobs as an adult. Though in the short-term you may think that this form of child-rearing builds self-esteem, in the long-term you will be breeding a selfish, willful adult.

It is essential to teach your child the give-and-take nature of life. This is essential for success in a career, a marriage, and a family. Of course, this doesn't even touch on the damage caused to a marriage when you allow it to take a backseat to child-rearing. Do you want to prepare your child to be a likeable adult one day? Start today!