Should Christians Be Friends with Non-Believers and the Spiritually Numb?

The question of should Christians be friends with non-believers and the spiritually numb is an old one. It has been asked by millions of people over the years in different ways. The responses vary from one end of the spectrum to the other. When I asked this question, I read so many different responses that I became more confused than ever.

What exactly does being spiritually numb mean? Well, a person who is spiritually numb may believe in Jesus Christ, but they don't seem to have a relationship with Him. Many people who are spiritually numb want to avoid any change in their personality or lives, not wanting to give up anything. They may have a fear of losing friends and being considered "weird" by society. They may be believers who feel that God has forgotten about them and have turned their filters on to block out the Holy Spirit in anger or sadness. The reason why I ask this question is because these same people can lead you down a dangerous road just as much as a non-believer. That is, unless you are careful on how you are affected. You cannot be forced to regress to your old ways, although you can be tempted. You have a choice and it is up to you to make an informed decision.

I was inspired about this topic because of my friendship with Natasha. Natasha was raised a Catholic and was the daughter of a true believer in God and His power. Over the years, she slowly started to turn away from him until one day God became a fairy tale to her, like Santa or the Easter Bunny. Once, we had a talk about churches and whether they help or hurt people (that will be in an upcoming article). She told me, "I guess I believe in God, but..." I never did get the answer to what the "but" meant. Based on how well I know Natasha, I know that it means that what the world thinks is more important than what God thinks. She doesn't want to change who she is, or stop doing the immoral and illegal things she is doing. She certainly doesn't want her friends to think that she is "weird."

As her illegal activities, immoral actions, and selfish personality grew stronger, I had to decide if this was someone I should be investing my time with. Was this person helping me or hindering me? Her difference in opinion about God was not what bothered me, as I have many friends with different beliefs. It was her immoral and illegal acts that caused me to rethink the friendship. I certainly did not want her negative influences to attract themselves to me. I have spent way too much time turning my life around and did not want to risk me falling backwards. I am not saying that simply being around someone causes me to become evil again. However, falling backwards is often subtle and I probably would not notice I was going back to my old ways until it was too late. So, I had to think this friendship over and decide what was best for me. What did God want me to do?

One day, after several months of pondering the question, I stopped talking to her. I had it in my mind that she was hindering my walk with the Lord and although she has many good qualities, it was the negative influences I was worried about. I did not want those negative influences to cause me to stumble. Although I try to be alert, it can be difficult. I did pray for God to bless her not because she deserved it (none of us deserve it) but because I really want her to have a good and fruitful life.

A few months went by and she was really on my mind. I decided to give her a call and after having a conversation with her about what has been happening in her life, I felt just awful. Especially when she said that she felt rejected and abandoned. I realized that I am exactly the type of friend that she needs. I must remain alert when I am with her to make sure that those negative influences don't rub off on me, but I need to remain in her life as long as she is willing, to be an example. I realized that I am where I am supposed to be, doing what He has assigned me to do.

By turning my back on her, I was showing her that Christians aren't about love. She does not realize the harm in the activities she is participating in, just like I didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing just a few years ago. It is very similar to how Christ viewed his murderers as he prayed in Luke 23:34 (NIV), "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

I may be the only light that Natasha sees in her lifetime. Even though she doesn't want to hear about Jesus, I need to make sure that she can see Jesus in me as I live my life. It may bring her to the Lord, or it may not. Even when I think that there are plenty of other people that can show her the love of Christ, I don't know that for sure. I went for years without seeing or hearing about Jesus.

My friend and I are very different in everything, which makes us have an odd friendship, but I know that God has put us two together for a very good reason. The Holy Spirit tells me that she is not ready to hear about Jesus, however, that does not stop me from trying to behave the way God wants me to behave. She is a very outspoken young lady, so when she asks me why I do the things I do, I tell her. The only response I receive to that is a disappointed "Oh. Okay, you and Ben are weird. You two don't act like everyone else." Of course, to that statement all I can think of to do is smile.

One reason why I do not force my salvation speeches on her is because I know from being a former non-believer that, "If you shove something down someone's throat, they will choke." God doesn't want us to force Jesus down people's throats. He wants them to come willingly. He does expect us to share His love with others, but you have to check with the Holy Sprit to see which method of witnessing is going to be most effective for that person. Everyone is different, and what may work on Anna may send Bobby running for the hills!

God has given us the choice of deciding who our friends will be. However, there are times when he will throw us someone who may believe the exact opposite of what we do. Instead of turning away, we need to embrace that friendship. If I am the only example she has of God and His mighty power and love, then I need to be the best example I can be. If I turn my back on her, I am sending the message that all Christians will turn their backs on her, and it will give her the impression that God isn't all that loving after all. This is the exact opposite of God's character and we are representatives of Him, meaning that we are to imitate Him so we may show others.

To answer the question of if we should be friends with people who are spiritually numb or non-believers, the answer is "Yes, absolutely!"