Should I Date My Co-Worker?

You were minding your own business, working a job that you love (or hate, modify to your own needs), when in walks Mr. Forever (or Mr. 'He'll do'). What now? Believe it or not, this is a decision that many American employees are facing every single day. There are many factors to consider when choosing to ask out the hottie in the next cubicle or saying yes to the guy you met in the elevator on the way to lunch.

First and foremost, make sure that you are putting yourself and your career first. Loves come and go, job stability is a necessity, especially in this day and time. If your line of work or that steady pay check is important to you, you might give more than a fleeting thought to crossing any love lines at work. One can never predict the possibility of a bad outcome in a relationship. It is impossible to know how well or how poorly another person will take a breakup and there is no telling what reprecussions it could have on your job and your professional reputation. Think about the day that you break up. Will you be able to work around this individual still or will it cause distractions?

Another important factor to consider is the rules of your job. Many companies and institutions are vehemetly against inside dating. Companies cite poor professionalism, lack of attention span and more missed days at work as just a few reasons why they have the policy they do. If you're caught dating and it is against the rules at your job you could even face the possibility of being fired!

Boss-Subordinate relationships are another thing you must definitely steer clear of. No matter how tempting it may be, it is usually not worth it to risk your boss or someone whom you are a supervisor over. Many who have walked down this path have told us that it is a challenge in the relationship to feel equal due to the fact that one of the partners is 'higher ranking' than the other. Another sticking point is that many view this type of relationship a conflict of interest, especially if you were coicidentally just promoted or offered a better project over someone else.

If you still decide to pursue the relationship with your co-worker, remember to take things very slowly. I hate to use the cliche 'start out as friends', but it really is sound advice when dating someone from work. If you take time to get to know one another you may be able to handle things like incompatibility before you have completely jumped into the waters of an intimate relationship. Again, we're looking out for your reputation. It would be horrible to have a one night-stand with someone from work and then find out that was all it was going to be. Like we mentioned before, you never really know a person until you KNOW a person and know how they will act after things 'fall apart'.

Don't gross your co-workers out. If your relationship is going great that's terrific, but everyone else doesn't really care. Brutal Truth? Yes, but truth nonetheless. You should choose professionalism over the temptation of a quick kiss around the corner. You should remember that your boss and co-workers will still view you as the same ole you that you were before you started dating, therefore you should do everything in your power to keep them focused on your ability to do good work. Not only is hand-holding in the hallway less than professional but it is also a distraction to everyone else who is trying to do what they are getting paid to do.

On that note, it is recommended that you keep 9-5 correspondences to a minimum. If you must communicate with your sweetheart we encourage you to avoid using your company email address or business phone lines. As innocent as a five minute phone call may seem, it can be viewed as abuse from your company's perspective. You are, after all, on 'their' time. Besides, many forget that all of that information is retrievable, recorded and could possibly be accessed by others. Phone messages can easily be misdirected and heaven forbid you hit 'send all' on that love note you just typed up. Deleting email and voicemail messages may appear to be a simple way to cover your tracks but many companies actually save these files during routine backups, so it may not be really gone! Play it safe, use your home phone, cell phone or home computer to send your sentiments, it can save you embarrassment and could possibly save your job.

So, you did everything right and here you are, broken up. The best advice for a co-worker break-up is to simply move on. Having harsh feelings is not abnormal but you should definitely cloak your emotions when at work. Talking behind your newly ex's back may make you feel better but may also get you canned on the premise of sexual harrassment or something similar. Keep your cool and continue working at top notch and next time - don't date someone from work!