Should Jon & Kate Plus 8 Be Taken Off the Air?

Kate and Jon Gosselin are the proud parents of a set of 6 year old twins and 3 year old sextuplets and are featured on the TLC/Discovery Health show Jon & Kate Plus 8. This show is supposed to focus on the difficulties and pleasures of raising eight children yet lately the producers have been focusing more on Kate's aggressiveness towards her husband than the kids themselves. They are cashing in on the circus that is Kate's OCD and tendencies towards verbal abuse towards her husband and many viewers find this unacceptable.

While I respect Kate for managing eight children and the commotion that comes along with it, my respect instantly vanishes when I see her howling at her husband and embarrassing him time and time again.

Yes, the producers edit the footage for the most interesting or controversial content to gain viewership. No marriage is perfect and all couples argue and fight from time to time. Sometimes you have to raise your voice to be heard over a crowd. Raising eight children is no cakewalk . This is all common knowledge and understandable.

What I find appalling is how she has no concept of how bad she berates him or the frequency of which it occurs. It's human nature to censor yourself both out in public and in front of a camera, so is it possible that Kate treats Jon much worse when the cameras are off? When the cameras are on, the producer has been known to call Kate out about overreactions and nastiness towards Jon. Every time Kate dismisses the producer's observations and acts like everyone who doesn't think like her is insane.

One example of her explosive nature was the now infamous scene in Toys R Us where near the checkout lines she yells out, "HellOOOOOOooOOOO!!!" [sic] at the top of her voice to get his attention and started barking out orders to her husband, a grown man. With everyone staring her down, Jon left the store in embarrassment and later told her how he didn't appreciated being treated like a dog. Kate thoroughly dismissed his feelings and acted as if it was a normal occurrence by saying, "Oh, did I?"

Yelling over a crowd or yelling over your own kids' voices is one thing because you are simply turning up the volume to be heard. The result is loud but not insulting and Kate says she only raises her voice to be heard. You can tell by the inflections in her sentences, which go from her average to highly sarcastic and insulting in a manner that specifically gets a rise out of him. When raising the volume of your voice to be heard, inflections shouldn't change because you are not emotionally upset or sarcastic.

She yells in a very specific manner to humiliate him. She persistently yells at him in an attempt to make him feel stupid or to get a faster reaction out of him. It must have worked in the past or she wouldn't continue the trend today. Perhaps she experienced similar treatment as a child, and the cycle of verbal abuse has carried over to her adult life.

Jon seems like a stand-up guy but he too has his flaws, although I wouldn't say they are abnormal. Part of the problem might be Jon's passiveness and indifference to the situation. Some say he's too uninvolved but I can see how people might assume that when comparing the two of them. Just about anyone would seem passive and indifferent compared to Kate. He may be happy but that doesn't justify her actions.

After the Toys R Us incident, during the interview she said something to the effect of, "When I'm out in public I don't notice other people." She might not realize when she's in full-on spaz mode, but once again, this is no excuse for her behavior. She doesn't understand that her actions affect everyone around her, something that should be common sense to an adult. She has also said that she doesn't have time to fix their communication issues. This copout shows how clueless she is when it comes to mature social interactions. While it's apparent that Kate has genuine affection for Jon, her selfishness stands in the way of self-improvement and Jon's happiness.

What about the children? Not only does Kate belittle Jon in front of the children, she also has been known to bring the children into their arguments in a very passive-aggressive manner. For instance, in a recent episode while their house was undergoing renovations, Jon had left large boxes in the room where the kids were to go down for a nap. After an argument, Kate turned to one of her children and said, "You daddy doesn't care about your safety," loud enough for Jon to hear as it was essentially directed at him. Above all I find this immaturity completely inexcusable. Children should never be dragged into adult arguments.

Another concern is how the children will interpret Kate's constant yelling as they age. Unless the children are naturally gifted with an excellent does of self-intuition as they get older they might treat their loved ones in the same manner. Kate does not seem to think about her reactions rubbing off on them.

The Jon & Kate Plus 8 online forum is full of people with the same opinions as my own though there are some who support Kate unconditionally. Many of her supporters rationalize her behavior and are quick to throw out, "How dare you judge," or, "Until you walk a day in her shoes..." which is all well and good but in saying that they are also condoning her abusive tendencies and seem oblivious to the poison in her words and actions. No amount of rationalization or, "How would you feel if you had eight kids," excuses her actions, even regarding the stress level. Just being parents of multiples does not mean the stress level will be automatically through the roof. Yes, kids will be kids but a high-strung parent will produce high-strung children. Parents who don't understand the importance of discipline will raise kids who will act out against each other and are free to throw tantrums at older ages. Calm and serene parents tend to produce tranquility in the household and with a lack of stress and chaos come well behaved and caring children.

Once again, no marriage is perfect including my own, but I've worked hard over the past seven years to make our home a safe, nurturing and loving environment for the both of us as well as our children. Even on my worst days, I would never yell at my husband the way Kate yells at Jon. Not only do I have respect for my husband as well as a healthy dose of self-respect, but OCD and similar spastic neurosis are not inborn traits in me. Besides, if I were to talk to my husband like that I wouldn't expect him to stick around very long, no matter how many children were involved and I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't want to be treated like that either.

There are many levels of abuse and I have personally experienced some of the worst forms of abuse possible while I was growing up. Some might get offended at my opinion and take on the attitude of, "Well if you think Kate is abusive..." and bring up physical domestic abuse or horrifying examples of child abuse, but the truth is abuse is abuse. Long-term verbal and emotional abuse or passive aggressiveness is nothing to laugh at and should not be tolerated in a marriage. No grown man or woman deserves to be treated like a dog.

Treating your loved ones the way you want to be treated is common sense. Marriage should be a democracy and not a dictatorship. Kate seems to lack common sense in this area and lacks respect for her husband. I know my viewpoint, while shared by thousands of viewers, won't be a popular one by those who excuse her behavior, especially those who are delusional enough to say that all marriages exhibit this sort of behavior, but I'm not writing this to win a popularity contest. This is a subject that needs to be addressed and maybe it will make others think about how they treat their loved ones in the future.

I applaud Jon and Kate for finding a creative way to generate more income for their large family, but besides from their television show, they also travel to churches for speaking engagements. They claim to be good Christians, but Kate hardly acts like a good Christian the way she criticizes and scolds her husband in a public manner let alone at all. Maybe she doesn't see how her actions hardly equate to being a good role model. The churches should spend their money on more stable parents of multiples such as the Duggars from Arkansas with seventeen children. They may be an unconventional family as far as size goes but they are always patient, loving, kind and respectful to each other. Their faith is pure and admirable. This is the kind of role model I would want to see represented by a church.

Discovery has effectively turned an endearing show about twins and sextuplets into a spectacle highlighting Kate's inability to handle the daily stress of the children, her nonsensical hang-ups and her tumultuous relationship with her husband. Many people have already boycotted this show on their own but I believe this show needs to be taken off the air until Kate can get a grip and perhaps seek therapy for her multitude of issues. She thrives on being the center of attention instead of seeking help to create a more stable environment for her family and the Discovery Channel is cashing in on this madness, which is utterly disgraceful.