Should You Leave Your Baby in a Church Nursery?

If you have a baby or young toddler and attend church even occasionally, you have been faced with deciding whether or not to leave your baby in the church nursery. Perhaps you have a laid-back baby who doesn't object, or maybe you have shy baby who resists being apart from you.

The decision of whether or not to leave my baby in the church nursery when she's crying has plagued me since my first child was born. It seemed that almost every nursery attendant I encountered had a different philosophy and different advice for me. "Oh, he'll be fine," or, "He'll never learn to be happy in the nursery unless you leave him," are lines I heard several times.

I understood their approach, my baby didn't actually NEED me, he just wanted me, right? Then why did I feel this horrible sad feeling every time I left the nursery and could hear my baby crying? I suppose some of it had to do with the person who worked in the nursery. If it was one of those, "Leave him, he'll be fine (scowl)" people, I was more likely to berate myself for leaving him. I felt like the person I was leaving him with probably wasn't very sensitive to his needs and wouldn't be able to comfort him. However, if the person in the nursery was someone who genuinely felt bad for my little guy and immediately took him in her arms or offered a toy, I felt more comfortable.

I came to a realization when my second child was about 9 months old that I was actually allowing peer pressure to influence whether or not I would leave my baby in the nursery. Once I realized this I changed my perspective. Instead of relying on the advice of others about what was good for my baby and what wasn't, I began to rely on my instincts. I believe every mother has instincts that relate to her baby. I learned to trust myself. When I felt from Evelyn's cry that she was just fussy and would be easily distracted, I left her. I would wait outside of the nursery door and within seconds she would stop crying and play. However, when her cry was more upset and frantic, I opted not to leave her. Sometimes I encountered exasperated nursery workers who insisted she would be fine and that I was spoiling her. I learned to shrug off these negative reactions and console myself in the fact that I am Evelyn's mother and I know what's best. Period.