Children give signs just like adults do and these signs may be indicators of future long term personality. Nothing is set in stone however, and a sip of alcohol is not a gulp, or a sip every night so let's keep it in perspective. Keeping the child's personality in mind is key to making decisions about what to do with you child however and may help form a sort of individualized social compass for the parent's decision making process. Turning the focus outward from the child, parent relationship and the child's individual behavior more common beliefs can then be considered. Two such beliefs are as follows.
Conservative View:
Alcohol is illegal for underage drinkers. Therefore one should not let children sip alcohol. It also sends the message alcohol is okay instead of sending the message it's only okay for adults. Some things require patience, and alcohol is one of those things. Besides most children don't like the taste of alcohol and would prefer a sugar loaded soft drink. If a yummy alternative is offered at the same time as the alcohol perhaps the child would be distracted into something legal. Parents are role models and family leaders, soft leadership can result in soft interpretation of the rules, rule bending, and rule stretching. This sets in motion a negative pattern that can last a lifetime.
Liberal View:
A sip of alcohol barely contains enough alcohol to intoxicate a mouse yet alone a child. The law is designed to prevent children from becoming intoxicated and damaging their livers at an early age of development. Children should be taught flexibility and not dogmatic behavior. Knowing how to teach a child maturity involves issuing trust through actions such as allowing a child to have a sip of alcohol. When a child has the chance to realize they don't like alcohol, they probably won't drink it again. What's more by the time they do reach legal age the dogmatic approach would yield all at home drinking rights without restriction. What preparation does an absolutist childhood give for legal drinking if an adult drinks as much as they want when their children are watching. Responsibility is a flexible and mature handling of issues not a controlling pattern of behavior.
While these perspectives are important, the issue is not always this black and white and can often contain gray areas such as those mentioned in the first part of this article, the nature of the parents, genetic pre -disposition, other aspects of child psychology and social environment. A good rule of thumb is to consider the potential consequences of every action toward a child. What will the impact be, how does the action contribute or take away from the child's development and how will the child handle it are all good questions to ask before taking action. Some decisions are more important than others, but ultimately the decision rests with the parent to weigh all the factors and choose to act in a way that is appropriate for the situation.
Disclaimer: The opinions and knowledge expressed in the above article do not necessarily reflect the true opinion and beliefs of the author.
Published by A.W. Berry
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25 Comments
Post a Commentit cut my last comment off, lol. anyways, we fail to recognize that responsibility has to be instilled in a child from an early age.
as for children preferring soda pop, children prefer whatever you as a parent raise them on from an early age. if you give your child potato chips and chocolate from a young age, they'll want unhealthy snacks. introduce them to apples, oranges, and grapes at a young age, and they'll never turn their nose up at fruit as an after school snack. YOU shape your childs food preferences.
weak beer, or diluted wine (given to children in France) is a hell of a lot healthier than sugary soft drinks. its healthier than that sugar-added crap they pass off as fruit juice as well.
Belgium has one of the lowest rates of alcohol related fatalities in the developed world, and they introduce kids as young as three to alcohol. They have a small glass of something called Tafelbier (table beer), a mildly (~2%ABV) alcoholic beer with a meal. This teaches them from a young age that alcohol is not something to be drunk for the sake of getting wasted, but is instead something to be enjoyed in moderation with meals or at a get together with family and good friends.
Table beer, unfortunately, is becoming increasingly supplanted by sugary soda drinks that rot childrens teeth and cause hyperactivity and concentration problems, and other health issues as well.
We have an extremely funny attitude about alcohol here in North America. We just magically assume that at the age of 18, 19, or 21 (dependant on where you live), that the responsible behaviour faerie will tap a young adult on the head and they'll be responsible from that point on. We fail to recognize that responsib
sarah--If you think of it as 'letting kids drink', or view it as 'drinking' then it would probably be 'wrong', and no one could explain it to you satisfactorily. That was what i was getting at in my comment.
Great article- good job pointing out both sides without choosing one over the other! Very nice work!!
The way I see it is that my role, as a responsible parent, is to make decisions for the well-being of my child that they, themselves, are not yet old/mature enough to make. I can't see that there are any reasonable benefits to allowing my children to drink alcoholic beverages (in any amount), so what would be the point? I'm sorry, but this article really makes no sense to me. If someone can explain to me what the point is in letting kids drink, I'd appreciate it...
A sip of beer isn't going to lead to alcoholism. I'm sorry, but some of you have a huge misconception of how an alcoholic thinks.
Each parent has to make up their own mind, and I am in no way going to get in the way of someone else's parenting. So don't mistake my comment for anything that it isn't.
Good article to get the crowd goin'. :)
I would say that if you have to spend too much time considering the benign/harmful aspects of this, such as the measurement of a sip, its 'toxicity,' future alcoholism, then it doesn't fit into your lifestyle, and any possible benefit, joy, celebration, etc. is lost in translation.
oops - compromising
Since I drank at parties in front of my daughter (bad example to set as a parent) - the question for me is - at what age is she RESPONSIBLE enough to drink. My answer - NEVER. Not fair - double standard - but you never want your children comprimising their own safety even though you do it to yourself. Parents should set a better example - including me.
Great article, but wanted to correct one thought. You said "alcohol is illegal for underage drinkers." That isn't true at all! The PURCHASE of alcohol is illegal for those underage, but in Texas, as well as several other states, consumption is not illegal. My husband is a TABC Agent (state police officer) and has to correct this misperception all the time. The caveat is this: children must drink in the presense of their legal guardian. If they do, no problem legally.