Should You Let Your Mother in Law Watch Your Baby While You Work?

I wish someone had warned me about the problems that can happen when you let your mother in law watch your baby. As a first time mom, I was only too eager to let my mother in law watch my child when I went back to work.

I thought my mother in law qualified as a good child care provider because she had raised five children as a single parent. Since she was family I knew she would treat our daughter as if she were one of her own children. I wouldn't have to worry about my child being neglected or abused. Plus, she was only charging us half of what a regular day care facility would charge, saving my husband and I a great deal of money.

Up until my daughter was two, things went relatively smooth. However, I began to notice some issues that concerned me. Since she spent the entire day alone in the house with her grandmother, I became worried that our daughter was not developing social skills. The two of them, grandmother and granddaughter, spent the entire day eating and watching television. I was concerned that my mother in law was not providing my daughter with any kind of mental stimulation or exercise.

I also noticed that since she was never around anyone except me, my husband, and her grandmother, our daughter was becoming afraid of people. I noticed that when friends would over to visit she would run into the bedroom and would not come out until the visitors left. She refused to get on elevators if there was someone already on, and whenever people passed us on the street, she would have a fit.

When she turned two, the doctor told us that she was not saying enough words for a child her age, and referred us to see a specialist.

There were even bigger issues that came up that made me realize that having my mother in law watch our daughter had been a huge mistake. Most babies are weaned off the bottle between age one and two. However, my daughter was past two years old and my mother in law was still giving her a bottle. The problem occurred when I asked my mother in law to stop giving our daughter the bottle. My mother in law refused, she insisted she had to give her the bottle because my daughter would refuse regular foods. Even though I told her that as the mother, I was instructing her not to give my daughter a bottle anymore, she did not listen to me. The fact that my mother in law felt she did not have to listen to what I said was a huge problem. My mother in law wrongly felt since she was the grandmother, that that gave her a right to decide how our daughter was raised. Of course, I disagreed.

Combined with the other problems, I realized what a mistake it had been let my mother in law take care of my daughter.

When I talked to my husband, however, I got little support. He failed to understand the damage letting his mother watch our daughter was causing. My husband's thinking was she had raised him okay, so how could she do anything wrong?

I continued to have problems with my mother in law following the rules I laid out, until finally, I decided the best thing to do was to put my daughter in a regular day care.

Once I enrolled my daughter in day care, things immediately improved. Within weeks, they had weaned her off the bottle and she was eating regular food without any problems or fits my mother in law claimed she used to have. She stopped being so terrified of people, and began learning more words. They also potty trained her, something my mother in law had been putting off.

The only positive thing that occurred while my mother in law watched our daughter was the money we saved in day care expenses. But looking back, I see we paid for it in other ways. Fortunately, none of the damage was permanent and our daughter is an intelligent, well adjusted child, now.

People may say when you let a day care facility care for your child your child could be neglected or abused. Your child may get sick more, since they are exposed to more germs in a day care facility.

However, they aren't plopped down in front the TV all day. They interact with other children and learn valuable social skills. And most importantly, since you are paying them, they have to follow the rules you set for your child, even if they don't agree with them. After all, as the one who carried your child for nine long months, parents are the ones who have the final say in how your child is raised.