Should You Marry Your Fiancee After He Cheated on You?

When someone cheats on a loved one the results can be devastating both to the person who was cheated on, and most definitely to the relationship itself. Some people say forgiveness is the way to go, and others say your crazy if you marry him. Well, this article is not about forgiveness, that's up to you if you choose to do that, however, what this article is about is why it may not be a good idea to go ahead with your plans to marry him. Let's take a look at why marrying the fiancee who cheated on you may be a really bad idea!

First we must start of the with the obvious. Well, it's at the least obvious to me. Does he really truly love you if he's cheated on you? In my opinion, NO, at least not the kind of love that will stand the test of time, and get you through life's trials and tribulations. Sometimes I think we forget the real meaning of love. Love includes, caring, nurturing, respect, commitment, and a whole lot more. Well, in deference to that definition, does his cheating on you sound like love? If you are truly committed to the one you love, and respect them, why would you inflict one of the most painful things you can on the woman you supposedly love? Exactly, the two do not go hand in hand. This may be hard for those who are now faced with this situation to accept, but true love and respect for a fiancee does not include infidelity, plain and simple.

I know by now your saying all people make mistakes, right? Yes, they do, however; the size and severity of the mistake makes a big difference. We're not talking he accidentally forgot your birthday, or got you the wrong Christmas gift, we are talking big time here. Most women in this position would love to just hunker down and live in the land of denial. However, is this going to make for a happy future for you? If he is making the really big mistakes before marriage, what makes you think he won't do it after your marriage? No man is perfect, but if the mistakes he's making are tearing your heart out now, you really need to think seriously about your future or there lack of with this man.

Emotional torture for years to come is going to be your personal wedding gift from your perspective husband. What I mean by this is, is that for years to come the pictures in your mind will be like your own personal horror show. Pictures of him with her will be so vivid in your mind, you will start to believe it's actually happening before your eyes. We can't help it, we are just human. I don't care how much you forgive this man, the chance are you will never forget, well at least not for many. many years, if then. We human beings are not only really good at tolerating a lot more abuse from someone else than we should, we are just as good if not better at torturing ourselves. The answer to why we do this has as many reasons as there are people. The point is you must ask your self, along with the forgiveness, which is a must, you have to be realistic and honest whether you can live with those pictures the rest of your life. Chances are they will not go away any time soon.

Will you ever trust him again? Are you willing to play detective and interrogator for the rest of your life? Most women I have spoken with go crazy with the detective scenario. They smell clothes, they search pockets, they listen to phone calls, check cell phones for messages, and interrogate their man to death. Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life? I don't know about you, but I'm not spending that much time doing detective work unless I'm getting paid for it. On the brighter side, it sounds like you'll have a full life with your new profession.

Last but certainly not least, what does this truly say about the character of the man you intend to marry? He's sneaking around, most definitely lying to you; you can't cheat without lying as far as I know. He's certainly not respecting you, not in the way he should be. He knows deep in his soul if he's caught it will devastate you. He's exposing you to the possibility of AIDS or another sexually transmitted disease. He certainly is not showing you he is a committed person, except maybe to the affair he is having. The list just goes on and on. Do you really want a man who thinks so little of you and your feelings? His cheating whether you like it or not is saying volumes about who he is, and what you can most likely expect for the future, Is this truly the type of man you want to spend the rest of your life with?

In the end, each woman must decide for herself whether to move forward with marrying her fiancee who cheated, or not. In some rare cases, yes, a couple can get through this, hopefully with some really good counseling. However, I do believe the woman must be a very forgiving person who whole heartedly believes she can put it all behind her, and not suffer the torment that most women would. Forgiving is a lot easier than forgetting!

FYI: This article is in no way intended to break-up couples, but just make women aware of what they seriously need to consider before taking the plunge with a fiancee that has cheated! And no, I have never been cheated on, at least to my knowledge, so I'm not a bitter woman trying to get back at cheating men!