Should Parents Ever Leave Kids Alone in a Car--Even Briefly?
It's All About Risk Evaluation
I've heard it time and again from so many mouths, "Never leave a child in the car unattended--even for a minute!" We all know the dangers of leaving children in cars. If left alone for too long in hot or cold weather, the child could die of hyperthermia (heat stroke) or hypothermia. An older child could escape the car seat, wander out into the street, and be kidnapped or run over by a car. Someone could break into the car and kidnap the child or steal the car with the child still in it.
Yes, there are indeed risks to leaving a child in the car unattended, especially for long periods of time. But how exactly do we define "unattended" or "long periods of time?" Not everyone agrees on that. Most say 10 feet and within sight for no more than ten minutes, but others are stricter or more lenient. The law varies from state to state, but most seem to agree with the 10 feet, 10 minute rule.
There are precautions one can take to greatly minimize the risks associated with leaving a child alone in a vehicle. The weather should be moderate, not too hot or cold. The car should be locked with the alarm enabled and hazard lights on. The parent should be within sight of the car and return within 10 minutes. Be sure there are no choking hazards around, and don't park in areas where people drive fast. A child would not die of heatstroke or hypothermia if left in a car less than 10 minutes, especially in fair weather. It would take one speedy and stealthy thief to break into a locked, alarmed car, hotwire it, and drive away, especially if the car's owner was only 10 feet away and could see the car.
People mistakenly assume that parents leave their children in the car out of convenience. That may be true sometimes, but certainly not always or even most of the time. The parents may be acting for the good of the child, believing it is safer or better for the child to remain in the car. I would certainly rather my child be in a parked car while I load my groceries than in a cart that could roll away, especially in a sudden summer thunderstorm. Sometimes, I see no need to wake a sleeping child just to escort him into the ATM vestibule for a quick cash withdrawal. It's all about risk evaluation.
The mother in this story parked her car in the loading zone outside of Wal-Mart while she and her daughters donated some money to the Salvation Army, dumping coins in the bell-ringer's bucket. She saw no reason to wake her sleeping two year-old just to walk 10 yards in the freezing rain and sleet while the donation was made and a picture taken. The mother locked the car, set the alarm, and turned on the hazard lights.
On her way back to her vehicle, she was arrested for child endangerment, even though she never went into the store. In the confusion the police seem to have forgotten to supervise her older children, who reportedly were found alone on a bench in Wal-Mart when their father arrived on the scene. Understandably, they were scared. The charges against the mother were later dropped, as the District Attorney agreed that a child within sight is not unattended.
It simply is not realistic to say "Never leave a child alone in a car even for a minute!" I have to leave my child in his car seat to go and fetch his brother to buckle him in, then I have to leave them both in the car for the 30 seconds it takes me to get into the front seat! When I come home, I must leave them buckled in while I open the garage door and pull in, then I must bring each in one at a time. What about mothers of multiples? They have to buckle in one child, then go in for the next, and the next; they cannot bring them all out at the same time!
A child should never be left in a car for more than a few minutes, especially in hot or cold weather. Parents should never leave their kids in a car that is out of their field of vision, especially if the car is running. If the car is locked with the alarm set, and the parent is close to the car and can see it, the child is not unattended and is in very little danger. So, I urge you all: lay off of the mothers who leave their sleeping toddlers safe, snug, and warm in the car seat rather than dragging them out into the freezing rain to walk the whole 9 yards and drop coins into a bucket.
Eric Herman, "Charges to be dropped for mom who left kid in car." Sun-Times News Group. http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/839947,mom031308.article
The Associated Press, "Mom on trial for briefly leaving baby in car she could see." CNN. http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/03/12/mom.on.trial.ap/index.html
Published by Heather B.
I'm young single mother of two boys, a liberal Democrat, and a born again Pagan witch for nearly 14 years. I write about natural family living, pregnancy, homebirth, attachment parenting, and religion or pol... View profile
Guide to Finding Parenting Information On-lineIf you are a parent then you have had questions at one time or another dealing with your child.This article will tell you how to find answers to your parenting questions.
Child Custody & the Trend in Co-ParentingDivorce has a profound impact on the dynamics of parenting. In an effort to improve the parenting partnership, many courts are turning to a co-parenting concept.
Leave the Parenting to the ParentsEveryone has an opinion on parenting, and sometimes it seems the ones that are considered least valuable are those of the actual parents!
How Paid Paternal Leave Affects Self-Image, MasculinityEven when offered by an employer, many men opt to dismiss the use of Paid Paternal Leave when a baby is born. - 12 Tips for a Successful Maternity LeaveMany professional women who are also first-time mothers have unrealistic expectations about maternity leave. Here are 10 tips to prepare for your time off with baby.
- How to Effectively Communicate With Your Kids
- Four Kids Writing Projects About Sports
- Pediatricians and Health Care for Kids in Billings, Montana
- Teenagers, a Guide and Resource to Parenting a Troubled Teen
- Parenting and Foster Care, to Raise a Child
- 10 Tips for Parenting Long Distance
- Maternity Leave in California: Understand the Money Part
- Precautions can be taken to reduce risk, like removing choking hazards & locking the car.
- If you can see your child, and are only a few feet away, is she really unattended?
- Is it safer to be in a locked, warm car than in the rain in a shopping cart that could roll away?
15 Comments
Post a CommentBeing the mother of multiples I appreciate so much this article. I had a woman recently call the police and proceed to lecture me on leaving my 3 two year olds in the car. I was within the 10 feet for 10 minutes rule...Anyways, I just told her that when she had multiple toddlers then we could have this discussion and I drove away. But I always try to do as you said, evaluate the situation, do what is best for the 3. Sometimes my choice may not be the same as a mother of 1. Or even a mother of a few kids but of different ages. Anways, thank you thank you.
I'll take my kids in to pay inside the gas station as well (or pay at the pump when I can). However, I will leave them in the car to return the shopping cart 10 feet away, or to go get something in the house that I forgot after I already buckled them in. It takes a little common sense.
I enjoyed reading your article. Glad the charges were dropped for this mom, but it seems like a topic that sould be discussed more to have clearer laws developed
or like me i may only have 1 child a 7 year old son but he has cerebal palsy. so to take him in just to pay gas is hard to do when it is in busy there and i can see him and will take a minute or less.
I was charged in Missouri for child endangerment for leaving my five year old and six month old in my car. I locked the doors and started the car by remote. You can't take off in a car with remote start if no key is put in it will not go. I ran in the meat market car was never out of my sight. I grabed a pound of hamburg as I am checking out independence police pull up. A witness said I was in thirty mins so thats what they belive. They did not take the time to ask a store employee or anything. A lady in the parking lot says thirty mins so thirty mins it was. I had to be yelled at by the cop with my five year old watching. This man was yelling telling me I know better than this telling me I was not telling the truth about onlny being in the store for less than five mins. I was wondering what was worse for my kids being left alone or them seeing an adult that could not control himself. We do not yell in my house. My child is now scared to death of the police and I don't want that.
hi, i just today left my 10 year old son in the car with my 2 year old sleeping girl.. while i went into the post office to post over 20 packages, which took around 15 minutes, however as i was about to leave the shop my son came in with my 2 year old in arms (no shoes on) saying you had woken and was being a pain... at the time the local nursery nurse was in there giving me a look of disgust and im sure she will inform the local police or something, am i in deep trouble.. im not sure but im very worried... mum in the uk... ps the street was not busy or a main road just a small side road....
For most parents who chose to leave their children in the car momentarily, it has nothing to do with convenience but with a risk assessment analysis that leads them to conclude leaving them in the car is safer or better for the child's well-being especially given most people who leave their children alone while they are gone for only a few moments, only a few feet away from the car where they can see it, are not arrested.
excellent article! I work at a daycare, and a lot of parents leave their babies in the cars while the parents are inside dropping off their older kids. that makes me so mad! and most of the time, the car is still running. I think I am going to share this article at my daycare for parents to read. thanks =)
Interesting points here. It seems ridiculous that a cop could arrest this woman. Its downright terrifying to think that a good parent can be taken to jail for what someone else perceived as dangerous. On the other hand, a woman recently got off after she accidentally left her daughter, who died, in the car all day. Laws should protect children, not endanger them by jailing the perfectly capable parents. Excellent article.
Nicely written, Heather. I agree with you wholeheartedly.