Should Parents Lie?

Have you ever lied to your child or children? If you answer no, then you probably just lied. Most parents have told their children a fib or two. It may have been the age old ones about Santa or the Tooth Fairy. Or perhaps you've lied to your child about how well he did in a basketball game. Regardless of the reason, very few parents can actually claim never to have lied to their child.

But when is lying to your child acceptable and when it is wrong? Is it okay to tell your child that the Tooth Fairy is real when you know that in a few years your child will know you lied? Is that an acceptable fib?

Most parents believe it is. They want to keep the magic alive for their child as long as possible. Of course, eventually, the truth comes out. But it seems to be one of those realizations that evolves gradually without a big fuss. In fact, many parents are surprised when they realize their children no longer believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.

But what about lying to your child about his performance in a game or other activity? Is it still an acceptable fib or are you doing your child wrong by not telling him or her the truth?

This is the type of lie or fib that most parents utter to their child to try to offer comfort. It's is not meant to mislead them about their sports abilities or performances. However, parents should be careful as to how they word these offerings of comfort.

It's okay to tell your child that you know he or she did their best. That's not a fib. That's encouragement. And it's okay to tell your child that he will do better next time. That's encouraging him not to give up. And hopefully, with practice, he will do better.

Parents should not make excuses for the child. They should not blame the team mates or pretend the other team did not play fair.

It's very hard for parents to see their children unhappy or embarrassed. It is only natural to want to ease that pain. However, it is a fact of life that not all children will excel at all types of sports or activities. Parents should remember this. The best way to help your child is to encourage him to always do his best and help him find the types of activities that he can enjoy.

While some people believe that lying is absolutely wrong, many others know that sometimes a little white lie can actually help people feel better. After all, if a eight year old comes off the baseball field after a bad game, does it hurt to fib a little and tell him he played okay?