Should Parents Pay Their Children for Good Grades?

I was raised in a large family, I am actually the oldest of seven children. My mother, being a single mom by the time I was 14, was not financially able to pay each of us for good grades. It was understood in our family and in the culture I was raised in, going to school and getting good grades was not an option, it was expected. I know that sounds old-school, somewhere along the lines of, if you do that, then you go to bed without supper. Go to bed without supper, by today's standards is considered cruel.

I've raised four children, three are now adults and my youngest is in junior high. The philosophy in our house has always been, we all have jobs; we, your parents go to work every day and we make sure you have clothes, food and as comfortable a life as we can afford; your job is to follow our rules, go to school and get the best grades you are capable of.

It wasn't until my oldest child was in high school and I was having school problems with one of his brothers, at the time this child was in 6^th grade. I confided my concerns about my son to a friend. Her suggestion was to offer him a reward for each "A", "B", or "C" grade he earned in a monetary form. I was just a bit appalled. Pay my child to do what he's supposed to do? No one pays me to wash dishes, spend my weekends helping on science projects, or giving my children a ride to school every day. I have to admit I was intrigued by this concept and out of desperation, my husband offered this deal to all our children. We didn't think it would be fair to reward one child and not the others.

We tried it for one semester, maybe we didn't give it enough time, but we ended up shelling out about $200 for grades (3 children in school) and the one we'd hoped would benefit, didn't.

We never paid our children again for good grades. We went back to our old rules, high fives for hard work and a sit down discussion for poor grades. If my children had weaknesses in certain classes, we got them tutors, expected them to spend more time on the subject and always asked, how can we help you? Two out of my four children were and are Honor Students. Our three adult children are all high school graduates.

My children may not have been paid for good grades, but the grades they got were earned because that was one of their jobs as children in our home.