Should Parents Tell Their Children About Past Drug Use?

I stumbled across Oprah on television the other day, whose guests were David Sheff and Nic Sheff, his son. They each published books in February of 2008 - memoirs of how they coped with Nic's former drug addiction. Nic Sheff authored "Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines" while his father, David Sheff, authored "Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction."

During the show, Oprah Winfrey raised a question for David Sheff, which many parents or soon-to-be parents should think about. The question: "Should a parent tell a child that they used drugs when they were younger?" Father David Sheff's answer was a resounding "yes" although he ventured to say probably an equal number of people would say "no" as "yes."

David Sheff's reasoning was simple. His parents had not used drugs. They did not, in his youthful mind, have the experience, knowledge or authority to tell him not to use drugs. Henceforth, as a child, he used drugs. It's a simple thought process for a child, if you think about it - "they've never done drugs, what do they know."

For that reason alone, it is my belief that if a parent has used drugs, the parent should be truthful with their children about it. When to let this cat out of the bag, on the other hand, I'll leave up to the parent. However, portending a false front of never using drugs, in my opinion, is counter-productive. It tells the child that you do not know anything about the subject. Remember, after all, this is a child, who wants to think you are wrong.

Of course, telling a child you used drugs can back-fire, creating an excuse for the child to also use drugs. When questioned on the subject, the child might merely say, "You did it and you turned out fine." Unless, of course, you tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Tell them about the implications it had on your life, your friends, your parents or acquaintances.

Admitting to using drugs or hiding the fact can both have negative consequences, but at least admitting it involves telling the truth. Also, it may open up lines of communication in an unprecedented fashion. Let your children learn from your mistakes, rather than repeating them. Also, in the worst case scenario that they do repeat your mistakes, at least they'll know they have someone to talk to about it... who potentially understands.

David Sheff told his son Nic Sheff that he used drugs when he was younger, in an attempt to save his son from repeating similar mistakes. Nonetheless, Nic Sheff became a drug addict. However, in 2008, they each published books about their intertwined journeys with drugs. Now, they couldn't seem closer. Try for that kind of connection while hiding your past drug use and I doubt you'll ever find it. But, that's just my take. What's yours?

LIVIN is curious to hear your opinion on the matter - feel free to leave a comment below.