Should Prostitution Be Legal?

This article is a collaborative piece with Charlotte Kuchinsky on prostitution. We've both assumed roles and this article is a conversation between our characters. Additionally, we've included private thoughts of our characters which are noted in italics. I encourage everyone to visit Charlie's page and click on her version of this story to see her character's thoughts.

Hey, hey - this one fits the profile - single woman, out of town, tired of playing slots and ready to create a "Stays in Vegas" moment.

Brian: Hey Red! Everybody's a winner in Vegas when they hook up with me. I can put a smile on your face for $200 bucks.

Charlie: $200? What do you need $200 dollars for?

It would be so much easier if prostitution was legal. She's not really this naïve, is she?

Brian: Red, do I have to draw a picture for you? It's not what I need - it's what you need. That's why I'm here, to fulfill your needs while you're out of town.

Charlie: If you mean what I think you mean, I have to ask "why"? Wouldn't it be easier to just get a real job? I hope that doesn't sound condescending because I really don't mean it to. I'm just trying to understand why someone as cute and obviously outgoing as you would want or need to do this kind of work.

She seems perfect yet she's resisting. If prostitution was legal, I could have an office to conduct business in and not have to play games like this. But I'm not ready to give up yet.

Brian: Is this foreplay? C'mon Red - haggling over price is one thing but this is just crazy. You tell me what other job can a drop out like me get that pays this much? Plus I get to spend my days in bed with good looking and nice smelling women like you! How are you going to beat that?

Charlie: Sorry, not interested. I'm happily married so I don't want or need anything.
How about you? Do you have a girl friend or wife and, if so, how does she feel about what you do?

If prostitution was legal, I'd have a receptionist to do this end of the job.

Brian: Your words say no but you're still talking so that makes me think you want to but you're scared. Tell you what - buy me dinner, I'll answer all of your questions and then I'll walk away if you're truly not interested.

Charlie: I would be pleased to buy you dinner. I hope you won't mind if I ask a few questions along the way. I'm afraid I'm naturally curious. The truth is I've never met anyone like you before. However, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, the answer is still going to be no.

If nothing else, I'll get a good meal out of it. If prostitution was legal, a good accountant would find a way to write this off on her taxes as a business dinner.

Brian: Super, let's go to Delmonico's and I'll answer any questions you like.

Charlie: So far you've done a pretty good job of not answering my questions, so I'll just ask three if you promise to answer them honestly. The first is "do you work alone or this an organized business?" The next one is "don't you worry about STDs?" I mean, you might keep clean and all but you have no way of knowing about those you hook up with. And the last is a statement as much as a question. You seem intelligent. You are definitely good looking. There has to be something better out there for you. "Isn't there something else you want out of life?" And don't just say yes. I want you to really talk to me. It may seem strange, but I'm interested in you as a person and I can't help but think there is something I can do to help other than just give you money.

And if it was legal, we could have a sign in the office saying management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone.

Brian: Say, were you a praying mantis in another lifetime? Because I feel like you're eating my brain. The food's real good here. So why don't we relax, have some wine, tell a few jokes and slow down. No wonder women don't like it when men rush to the pink! And I'm alone. If I wanted to join a union I would have become a steel worker like everyone else I knew growing up. And look at how good that turned out for them. My job can never be farmed out overseas.

Charlie: There you go again. You promised to answer my question, but you really only answered one. I'm being a bit pushy, I know, but whether you believe it or not, I like you. I tend to worry about the people I like. I can't help it. So how about, instead of me asking you uncomfortable questions that you don't want to answer, you just tell me about yourself.

My specialty is satisfying people sexually, not verbally. At least the steak is good.

Brian: I'm a high school dropout and you're firing questions at me machine-gun style. Sure I worry about STDs. I worry more about my friends who are cops who risk getting shot at every day. I worry more about my buddies who work in mines built decades ago that could collapse at any moment. I worry more about overhead cranes dropping their loads and crushing guys I know who work at U.S. Steel. But I get checked once a month and wear condoms whenever someone is concerned about their health from me.

Charlie: What about the rest of your life? Don't you want something more than this; like love, family?

I can't decide if she's more Oprah or Dr. Phil.

Brian: Well I had a family. My dad was never around and my mom was an alcoholic. I was raised by my aunt and that would have been fine except she sexually abused me until I ran away at 13.

Charlie: Thirteen is a tough age even when you have someone to support you. I can't imagine having to go it alone. But I gotta say, I still think you've got a lot to offer if you ever decide this isn't what you want to do with the rest of your life.

Do you have a dream or something you always wanted to do or be? I've always wanted to be a writer. What about you?

Right now my dream is for you to slide me $200 after this is over. I've worked harder during dinner than I do on a job.

Brian: I guess I've spent my whole life just trying to survive. Not much room for dreams there. But if I could do something, it would be to legalize what I do. People are going to do it anyway - it's the world's oldest profession. As long as people are going to do it, the government should regulate it so that kids don't get hurt or taken advantage of. I think it would be great if those of us working kept the majority of the money that we made and didn't have to worry about being beat up or robbed or having to spend the whole night looking for a trick for some place warm or dry to sleep. Does that count as a dream?

Charlie: Sure, it counts. It is legal in Germany and they have a lot less problems than we do here. As long as you are happy with what you do, I say "go for it!"

Are you putting something away for retirement? I know that probably sounds somewhat silly but someday you may want to quit and travel or do something else.

Must. Find. Way. Out.

Brian: Saving for retirement? If I have food to eat today, a place to sleep tonight and clean clothes to wear tomorrow, I'm doing good. I don't have the luxury of planning for 30 years down the road.

Charlie: I know I haven't known you long, but I have to say that I like you and want the best for you. I may not have all the answers, or even the right questions for that matter, but I hope we can become friends anyway.

I'll be back this way once and awhile with my new job. Is it okay if I look you up? We can have dinner and talk some more. I would really like that - - as friends.

Bingo! There's Mustang Sally. Now I have a way out and a job for tonight.

Brian: Dinner was great. Since you've made it clear that you don't need me, would it be rude if I went and said hello to one of my clients? I see she's dining here alone.

Charlie: Sure. I wish you well.

**********

I would just like to state for the record that I've never charged for sex, although there's been times that I felt like I owed money after particularly enjoyable encounters.

Anyway, I think prostitution should be legalized, regulated and taxed. It might be our only chance to balance the budget and pay for the War on Terror.