Should You Reveal Your Past Sexual Relationships to Your Current Partner?
Rarely do you find a virgin who is waiting for marriage, and if you do you usually just want to take their virginity and move on to the next. Keyword USUALLY, there are actually a few respectable people out there who don't believe the saying"you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it". Yea it is sad we compare humans to cars but our society is screwed up.
Now back to should we reveal our past. If you have been in an actual relationship you know that the question will eventually come up. Most likely in the beginning of the relationship when you are still trying to get to know each other and your image is everything. Now most of you who have slept around and had your share of fun will more so lie then tell the truth after all you don't want them to think you are a ho" , right? Remember image is everything in the beginning or am I wrong? Now there are some upfront people out there who have the attitude of you can think what you want to think here is the truth, which also isn't wrong because that shows you are comfortable with yourself.
Now honesty is good in a relationship, but for all of you who were stupid enough to tell your partner how many you slept with...tell me the truth did it not lead to some type of argument in the future, just out of no where you two were arguing and the topic is brought up? Don't get me wrong you should always tell your partner about your sexual past as far as if you ever had STD's but the rest should not matter, I can't say that enough. The past is just that the past. You two did not know each other nor did you ever know you two were going to meet, and if you did know each other you two were not committed to each other so it still doesn't matter! Another thing that ends up ruining the relationship is the jealousy factor sets in when the numbers are revealed, "was he/she better then me", "what I'm not good enough for you but I'm sure so and so was huh".
You see all it brings is arguments and jealousy in the relationship and if you get through it then congrats that shows you two are really trying to make it work, but usually accusations start and it can lead a partner to do something they regret. My thoughts your sexual past shouldn't have anything to do with the present. If you are choosing to get to know someone, obviously they are the one you want to be with now. There are so many other things that are more important then the numbers in their past. My last and final words Don't ask a question that you don't want to hear the answer to!
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2 Comments
Post a CommentHere's how I see it: Peoples' past actions are an indicator of current and future behaviors. That doesn't mean that if a person was promiscuous in the past that they will be unfaithful to you, but it does indicate that such a person doesn't see many partners as a bad thing.
What matters most in relationships (in my opinion) are a few things, but certainly shared values is way up there. If both partners have had numerous partners prior to the relationship, then in essence, they have the same standards as evidenced by their own behaviors; they both engaged in numerous relationships.
However, if one of the two has had nowhere near as many partners as the other, when the question is asked, it's going to be difficult for the other to see them as they did before the question was asked **THIS is what I mean by 'be prepared' for the answer, because if you have not had as many or a similar number of partners, you have to be ready to deal with that.
Unfortunately, it is often difficult
This is a complex question. There may be several reasons this may be asked. They may be just curious, they may be insecure, they may worry about STD's and so on. However, it may be a question of understanding your values and thoughts on sex and love to see if they are compatible with their own.