Should You Reveal Your Sexual Past to a New Partner?

Whether you have a high or low number of previous sexual partners, revealing this information to a new lover could be detrimental to the relationship. However, to partners who do not have jealously traits could benefit from understanding your sexual past. In this article, we will examine the pros and cons of revealing your sexual past to a new partner.

Pros

• Experience- Not all relationships thrive off the naïve, in some cases, thought of their partner only being with one person. As a man, I often look for someone who has a bit more experience because it makes intimacy less awkward with a new partner. However, before revealing your number, you should be certain that your current boyfriend or girlfriend is confident with himself or herself and would not feel jealous.

• STDs-STDs or sexually transmitted diseases can infect anyone. The more sexual partners you have the higher risk you are for transmitting or receiving an infection. According to the Centers for Disease and Control, New York State has an instance of 2126.8 cases of Chlamydia per 100,000 people and 354.8 cases of Gonorrhea per 100,000. If you have a high number of sexual partners, it is in your best interest and your partners best interest to get checked by a medical professional before engaging in intimacy with a new partner.

• Respect- When engaging in a new relationship, it may not be in either party's best interest to reveal how many past lovers they have had. However, revealing the number after you both are comfortable with each other is a sign of respect for both partners. Although before revealing the number, make sure both people in the relationship are mature enough to handle the discussion, otherwise it could put a major strain in the relationship.

• Cervical Cancer-According to the PennState Milton S. Hershey Medical Center College of Medicine, cervical cancer rates increase in women based on how many sexual partners she has had. Cervical cancer is a serious disease and should not be ignored because of ignorance to sexual activity. Be honest with yourself and your partner and be safe.

Cons

• Insecurity- Let's face it, anyone in a relationship can feel some level of insecurity if they learned that their partner wasn't exactly waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right. I know from personal experience that insecure feelings can occur when your partner reveals their past sexual experience. To overcome these feelings keep in mind that your partner is with you and no one else. He or she cares for you now and only you, and that the past is simply that, the past.

• Friends- Knowing that your partner slept with people who you will never meet is of some level of condolence, however, if they slept with one of your friends you may feel uncomfortable. Some things are better left unsaid, and in some cases, revealing your sexual partners is one of those things.

Sources:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/by-age/15-24-all-STDs/state/2008/NY08.pdf

http://www.hmc.psu.edu/healthinfo/pq/papsmear.htm