Should You Take Your Children to Funerals?

At some point and time we lose our loved ones and are faced with the hard decision of whether to let children attend the services. Funeral services are a way to help us get through the grieving process. They give loved ones a last chance to see the deceased and grieve. Funerals can be healing for some but devastating to others and for this reason it is best to take consideration when deciding whether or not you want to bring children.

When it comes to this issue specialists and parents have dissimilar views. Some specialists believe that attending funerals is an essential part of the grieving process because it perpetuates reality. It gives young children a chance to see that this is real and that their loved one is indeed gone and gone to a better place. Despite what specialists say it is good to go by your personal feelings and beliefs on the issue because you are the one that knows your child.

Attending funerals may be apart of the grieving process but one must be conscious of the atmosphere. Funerals are a sad place to be and children have an extra sense to detect sadness even in times where a person tries to conceal their sadness. At funerals the sadness is obvious. There will be crying, maybe passing out, potential cursing and not to mention a very still and cold corpse that may or may not look like a strange imitation of their loved one. Images like these can stick in children's minds and remain with them throughout adulthood. It can even bring them to have nightmares. This is not true for all children as each child is different. The younger they are the less likely they are to remember the event but they will still feel the sadness.

It would be best for children to attend the service if the casket is closed. Many services keep an open casket throughout the entirety of the service. This can be hard on both children and adults. A closed casket may have a less negative effect on a child so if the casket is closed you might want to consider bringing your children. If you would really like your children to say goodbye to the body of your loved one then it might be better to attend a viewing where friends and families can visit the body and exit the building quickly. This will be much easier to undergo than sitting through an hour or two long service where the casket is open.

Burials can be beautiful and receptions are always much better. So you can decide to skip the whole funeral and just take your child to the burial. Cemeteries although somber are welcoming because of the neatness and greenery of the atmosphere and the jubilant and vibrant colors of the fresh flowers. You can have your child say a few kind words over the casket and then throw a flower on top of it. Receptions usually follow funerals and while a great portion of relatives might feel really somber others usually lighten up and the children run off and play and think about the day.

So in the end it comes down to what you think is right as a parent. You have to make the decision on whether or not you want your children to attend services. Whatever you decide it is important to describe death to your child and that their loved one will not be returning. If you are religious in any form you can explain what death means in your religion. You can always say something assuring to your child like our loved one is watching over us and is in a better place right now. Each child responds differently to losing a loved one so it is best that you remain kind, loving, and patient to your child no matter what amount of discomfort that you may be in.