Should Toddlers Play the Piano or Play in the Dirt?

On one hand, there are so many wonderful opportunities for our youth that were not there a generation ago. Baby Einstein did not exist when I was a child. Neither did black and white mobiles and masters' classes for preschoolers.

Our children are given prospects that were never conceived. Doors are open to them in the worlds of art, music, literature, history and even mathematics. Concepts are taught years earlier then were thought possible when I was a child, and education has become an all encompassing thing if sought.

But, and there is always a but, is it too much? And is the pressure put upon modern parents actually hurting the children in the long run?

I have a preschooler whom will soon be entering kindergarten. I started young with Baby Einstein and Mozart for Babies. I even played Jazz and Classical music to my child while he was en utero. He was provided black and white toys at birth to assist his spatial reasoning, and was never spoken to in "baby talk"� in order to increase his vocabulary.

All of this is well and good, but I did not teach him sign language. Therefore, I am not up to par with some of the other mothers who I attend play groups with. Also, I have not constructed alphabet letters out of smooth sandpaper nor has my son started learning a musical instrument yet. I guess he is behind the pack already.

The pressure to do it all as quickly as possible weighs on me and several other mothers whom I have spoken to. Milestones must be reached earlier then we did, and the absolutely must have been reached before the other children in the group. Our motherhood and ability to parent is based on this as a litmus test. Therefore, there exists a silent motivation to push our children to excel as rapidly as feasible.

The market has responded to this drive. There are big bucks to be made in the world of early childhood education. There are now videos, DVDs, CDs, books, toys, flash cards, and many other forms of media. All of these come with the quiet little nag. "Your child will be behind and you will be guilty if you do not buy this product to expand his mind."�

What it all boils down to is our children's future. We want the best for them. We want to give them the world on a platter and have them breeze through life without a bit of dirt on their shoulders. We want them to be looked up to and admired. And we want to be in the audience when they say, "It's all because of my mom! She's the best!"�

So we buy the toys, we flash the cards, we show the movies and we put our mp3 player's ear buds on our expanding stomachs. All in the hopes that one of these experts was right and this really is the way to guarantee our child's success in life. We are victims to our own desires for the well being of our children and the fancy marketing that preys on our fears.

I give pause to what this is causing my child to think. He is a well mannered, spirited young man who is just about as interested in writing his letters as he is in watching paint dry. He would much rather be outside exploring a rock or blowing bubbles. He wants to expand his world, not through a PBS special on Botticelli, but rather by digging a hole in the back yard. He's a child. He could care less right now about his Ivy League prospects, but gives a lot of consideration to who would win a battle between Spiderman and Batman.

I have decided to take the pressure off of him and myself, for at least a few years. I can not say that I am going to be a convert completely, and I do believe that some motivation is appropriate and good for our children. But, for goodness sake, he is a kid. I am going to become a parent of a child instead of a mini adult.

I am ready to remove the shroud of guilt. I am ready to step up and say, "My son forgets the number 14 when he is counting, and I'm okay with that."� He may not be able to play a minuet in D on the piano, but you should see the hole we have in our back yard!