Should You Turn a One-Night Stand Into a Relationship?

We have all been there, looking for a hookup at the bar or club, went back with such hookup and felt a stronger than average connection. However, simple etiquette of a one-night stand states that it is a one-night deal that should be left as such and never brought up again. Oxytocin and vasopressin are chemicals released when you "fall in love" with someone, regardless of the time of knowing the person. These chemicals make it so that monogamy is an approachable subject in the dating world, in place of hundreds of random partners. Does the act of a one-night stand release these chemicals and should you act on your chemically laced feelings?

Night of the one-night stand

Having approached the topic of one - night stands on multiple occasions during my lifetime, I typically go into them thinking that it is just for the night and nothing more. As a guy who has been hurt in the past from long-term relationships, a one-night stand offers the anonymity that neglects the onset of feelings towards another person. Whether or not this mindset is healthy or not is still largely up to debate. However, a one-night stand undoubtedly offers the release we are looking for without attachment or feeling of being tied down.

The one-night stand typically goes as follows, meet the girl at a party or club, get to know her slightly, sweet talk her into coming back, and, well you know the rest. In the morning, she usually leaves and we will engage in casual contact or awkward glances if we were to ever meet again. Although the anonymity of this act may seem like a safe approach (less STDs and emotions), what happens if you start to have feelings towards your one-night stand partner?

According to oxytocin.org, sex stimulates the release of oxytocin and vasopressin, which is what, makes us have monogamous feelings towards one another. However, if you engage in multiple one-night stands with usually no feelings, does the release of these chemicals actually explain why you have the sense of attachment towards one certain individual?

Should you ever turn a one-night stand into a long-term relationship?

Yes. One-night stands may flourish on anonymity, however, from my personal experience I have had some of the best relationships due to dating after a one-night stand. The feelings you have towards another person are real, whether they are exasperated from the release of oxytocin and vasopressin or not. If both partners feel the instant connection before and after the sex, than chances are the pursuit of a relationship is not one in vain. From a guys perspective it is not unflattering for a woman to ask for a relationship after a one-night stand. From my experience, I find it flattering for a woman to ask for a relationship because it demonstrates that I was able to woo her in less than 12 hours.

Look for the connection-Do you want the relationship for the right reasons?

Before you engage in a relationship immediately after a one-night stand you should ask yourself if you are truly ready to commit, or if you are doing it to not feel "easy". If you truly want to commit after a one-night stand due to a personal connection you felt than the relationship will thrive. However, if you want a relationship to feel better about the one-night ordeal than the relationship will have multiple arguments, and will be disastrous.

Sources:

Extensive personal experience

http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html