Show a Teenager Compassion Over Criticism

I found a note that a teenager had dropped while getting off a school bus. There were a group of teens, so I couldn't be sure exactly which kid dropped the note. Maybe it's better that way.

Here is what the note said:

"I'm not afraid of death, but how I die.

Rejection.

Not being successful later in life.

Never being happy."

These are the thoughts of a small town kid in a less than ideal economic station in life. These are probably the thoughts of many teens today. Maybe it's a right of passage to have those doubts and to worry whether you will ever make something of your life. In high school everything is so dramatic; the first loves, the heart breaks, sports, grades and troubles at home. It all accumulates to weigh down the heart and mind of a teenager.

If you make it through your teenage years and into adulthood, your reasoning and understanding processes have become much improved. As a 16 year old, there are many things that may seem like the end of the road. As a 36 year old, those same troubles are recognized as just a bump in the road.

When you are a teenager, a 2 month relationship that ends is a heart wrenching ordeal that can leave many teens feeling like they will never find the right person for them. As an adult, the end of a 2 month relationship may be disappointing, but we have the capacity and life experience to know that it's just part of life and there are lots of other fish in the sea.

I don't miss high school or being a teenager. It was rough then and it only seems worse now for today's kids. Peer pressure, sex, drugs, abuse at home, tons of home work, trying to fit in, trying to grow up..it all adds up to a sense of urgency and despair for teenagers. They do not yet have the mental capacity to look far ahead and make judgments and decisions based on what may happen. Most teens are very much in the here and now when it comes to decision making. However, they do worry more about the future than any adult would believe. The note I found was a small sign of that.

I know that teenagers have the ability to get under the skins of their parents and many other adults. The baggy pants, smart mouths, crappy attitudes, lies, rolling eyes, lies..they try the patience of even the kindest adult. What I hope you'll remember the next time a teen, maybe your teenager, is driving you crazy, is the note of an anonymous kid in a small town;

"I'm not afraid of death, but how I die.

Rejection.

Not being successful later in life.

Never being happy."

Maybe you can reach out to a teenager with a little more understanding and recognition of what might be going on in their heads. Even when they make it hard to do so, try compassion before jumping right into criticism. You may make a positive impact in a teenager's life, without ever knowing that you did. I'm going to try and follow my own advice here, though it's not always the easiest thing to do.

Source: Author's opinions and the note of an anonymous teenager