Showgirls: The Very Best Bad, but Oh-So-Good Movie

In my humble opinion, Showgirls is not only a notable bad, but oh-so-good movie, it is THE bad, but oh-so-good movie. The film, directed by the eclectic Paul Verhoeven and written by Joe Eszterhas, attempts to tell the story of a Las Vegas showgirl who becomes mired in the a dark, cutthroat world of violence and manipulation. Opening to much anticipation and controversy, Showgirls has since become the object of ridicule, and a source of seemingly endless laughter. Receiving 7 Golden Raspberry Awards - intended to dishonor the worst in the film industry - out of a record 13 nominations in 1995, it had also, arguably, wrecked the careers of its contributors, especially budding star Elizabeth Berkeley and writer Joe Eszterhas, who said of the film, "I never agreed that this movie was accidentally funny"-whatever you say Joe. But today, as the dust has settled, the film has found success as a campy, cult classic, one which seemingly becomes funnier with each viewing-or at least I think so.

So why is this movie so bad, but oh-so-good? Well first of all, it stars Elizabeth Berkeley, better known as Jessie Myrtle Spano from Saved by the Bell . Hind sight is 20/20, but if Verhoeven and Eszterhas were trying to make a serious film - and despite Ezsterhas' denials, I think they were - it seems that someone should have sounded the alarm when they decided to cast good ol' Jessica "Momma" Spano as the star of the film. Anyone who has ever seen her work on Saved by the Bell could have predicted a laugh fest. In fact, one could easily make the case for Jessica Spano as one the most ridiculous characters in the history of television (although that case can be made for any of the SBTB cast members). But seriously, lets look at the evidence-on the show she often locks lips with AC Slater, and we now know that anyone who has kissed Mario "AC Slater" Lopez is tainted and cannot be taken seriously. Furthermore, when Berkeley 's first response to getting the Showgirls role as Nomi Malone was to cry out a teary-eyed, "I'm so excited, I'm so scared!", the plug should have been pulled on that project immediately. Saved by the Bell fans know what I'm sayin', and just for the record, I say these things with nuthin' but love.

But let's get back to Vegas. The film is the story of a drifter named Nomi Malone who dreams of being a dancer. The film opens with Nomi hitching a ride to Las Vegas from some hick moron. This dude believes so strongly that she is in the "mafia", due to her Italian name, that he steals her luggage and leaves her at some crappy casino in hopes that her suitcase is stuffed with cash - brilliant hypothesis. Upon realizing that she has been ripped-off, Nomi begins to pound on some chicks car in frustration, and when confronted by the owner - Molly - Nomi starts swinging at her, almost pukes on her and then nearly gets hit by a car after totally spazzing out. Despite all this, Molly then proceeds to buy this crazy freak some fries and soda and is shown no gratitude. As anyone would expect, Molly invites Nomi to stay in her trailer until she gets on her feet as a stripper at a local club called Cheetah. Now, this sequence occurs in the first 15 minutes, and is so retardedly inexplicable that only the anticipation of seeing Jessie Spano's boobs could keep us watching( in fact, legend has it that Kyle McLachlan barely made it that far before walking out of his own movie premier). But, what in fact begins to happen after watching these opening sequences is pure movie magic-we begin to be drawn in by the campy goodness, side splittingly funny dialogue and legendary imagery.

While stripping at the Cheetah Club, Nomi catches the eye of Stardust Hotel entertainment director Zack Carey, played by Kyle Mac Lachlan, and his showgirl star girlfriend Cristal Connors, played by Gina Gershon. Nomi performs an infamous lap dance for the couple, simultaneously taunting Cristal and tseriously seducing Zack. Both peeved and turned on, Cristal summons Nomi to an audition for a part in Stardust's Goddess show, in which Cristal plays the starring role. Cristal has set up this audition in order to engage in some sort of weird mind game with Nomi, involving some strange mix of sexual attraction and disdain. When Nomi begins screwing Zack Carey, things really get interesting. Especially since Nomi and Zack's very first private, non-lap dance interlude-the legendary pool sex scene-grants the audience a view of Kyle MacLachlan's abnormally sculpted ass and tacky, neon-palm tree adorned swimming pool.

Wanting to be a serious dancer, Nomi also becomes involved with a classically trained dancer named James, played by Glenn Plummer. When they frist meet at the Crave Club, where James works as a bouncer, Nomi knees him in the groin and starts a huge brawl, getting James canned and landing Nomi in Jail. What does James do in response? What anyone else would do for the woman who crushes his nads and gets him fired from his job-he bails Nomi out, only to be rewarded with an emphatic, "back off motherfucker" from Nomi. James then rewards Nomi's gratitude by writing her a dance "number", specifically for Nomi to dance to, but proves to be less than honest about his intentions by nailing her fellow stripping friend Penny, otherwise known as Hope, and offering her the role in his dance as well. As you can see, James is a clever, multi-dimensional and complex character, so much so that his excuses for screwing Nomi's friend range from him having a "problem with pussy", to proclaiming that he is a "student of tee-shirts" - whatever that means.

As Nomi becomes more wrapped up in the dark world of a Las Vegas showgirl politics, she is forced to confront many manipulations, betrayals and humiliations, as well as her own dark side. In the process, Nomi becomes willing to sacrifice almost anything to get ahead. Holy shit-I can't believe I just wrote so seriously about this movie! Alas, I won't write too much more, in case there are any unfortunate readers who haven't seen the film. But, I would like to say that in a relatively short peirod of time, Showgirls has reached cult classic status, even inspiring a spoof Upright citizens Brigade production called, Showgirls: The Best Movie Ever Made Ever, and even its disgraced writer Joe Eszterhas is seemingly embracing the film, faults and all. So, if any of you readers know anyone who blasts Showgirls as if it is any run-of-the-mill bad movie, make them watch it again.

Lastly, here are some more notable performances, such as Robert Davi's portrayal of Cheetah clubowner Al Torres; Alan Rachin's portrayal of Tony Moss, producer of the Stardust Hotels Goddess show; and my personal favorite, William Shockley's portrayal of pop singer/rapist Andrew Carver - one of the most grotesquely offensive characters in film history - yeah I said it.

Next time you stay in on a Saturday night, maybe throw in Showgirls and enjoy the best bad, but oh so good movie ever burned onto celluloid. I leave you with some Choice Quotes:

Molly: My right hand is so tight I can barely thread a needle.
Zack Carey: Nomi's got heat
Cristal Connors: I want my nipples to press, but I don't want them to look like they're levitatin!
James smith: Only people I know got pimp cars are pimps.
Hope: You're not gonna give her my part are you?
Al Torres: It must be weird not having anyone cum on you.
Tony Moss: You got something wrong with your nipples.