Shy Children: When It's a Passing Phase and When It's a Personality Problem

While there are children who become shy following a traumatic event, the vast majority of shy children appear to have been born that way. As these children enter their pre-teen years, some shy children are terrified at being placed in situations where they must meet new people. More often than not, these children are uneasy about making new friends or trying to follow-through in creating friendships.

The good news is that most shy children are able to create relationships and feel comfortable in various social settings once they have gone through a period of adjustment. Regrettably, other children who are shy learn to cope by appearing to enjoy being loners and projecting an image of being independent. Unfortunately, such children may still feel inwardly shy and may be helped by parents who guide them into social situations where they can gain self-confidence.

Parents are well justified to be concerned about a child who is unable to establish friendships under any circumstance. Often these children are not sociable in the classroom or the playground. Unfortunately, the longer this pattern continues, the more difficult it is to treat.

Adolescent mental health professionals often evaluate such children to try to determine if remedies can be found to prevent ongoing shyness from developing into a debilitating disorder. Among the doctor's concerns are whether the shyness is the result of an anxiety disorder or something particular to your child's temperament.

Another concern for parents is caused by their child being rejected by his or her peers. This rejection may be caused by a child's physical appearance, a speech impediment, the way a child dresses, or other seemingly minor reasons.

Unfortunately, these children become neglected and spend much of their time alone.

Some children are rejected by their peers because of their impulsive, disruptive or overly aggressive behavior. Often, the more these children are rejected the more they may display this anti-social behavior.

Shyness is a problem which some children outgrow and which other children are burdened by as it impairs their development. In today's world, there are many resources and professionals who can help parents with advice or treatment for a shy child.

If you have reason to be concerned about your child, talk with your pediatrician and school officials to determine what steps would be appropriate for your child. For shyness is a developmental problem which can be overcome, and the sooner the better.