Sibling Bonding: How to Bring Your Baby into the Family

A new baby arrives in your family. Whether the child is born into the family or adopted, the siblings may have a hard time accepting the newcomer. This can be a giant hurdle to overcome, but you can help your baby and your other children form lasting bonds. It is very important that your baby bond with siblings. As the baby grows up, she will feel safer and more secure in a home where she has an emotional connection with the others. As she grows, she will be confident that the world is a friendly place when she feels accepted by her brothers and sisters. Her self-esteem will be higher because of it. It is just as necessary for siblings to forge close ties with the baby. The siblings will learn to share their time with you and your spouse. They can learn to care for someone else. Over the years, they can enjoy the time they spend with the younger child, and ultimately with the entire family. It all stems from a close relationship.

Here are a few ways I have used in helping my younger child bond with her older siblings.

1. Let the siblings have a hand in designing the nursery. My 10 year old son helped my husband build a small table and chairs for the baby's room. My 3 and 6 year old daughters helped choose the curtains and the wallpaper. They looked forward to the baby's arrival so that their work would be put to use.

2. Welcome the baby home. My husband helped the children make up banners for the big day. They even made up a welcome basket with bottles, bibs, and rattles and other toys. When I came home from the hospital, their faces were alight with happiness as they rushed to see the baby.

3. Include the baby at mealtime. Even if the infant is not old enough to eat the same foods as her siblings, she should have a place at the table. The older children got to bring baby food and sippy cup to the little one. The baby gets attached to anyone who brings what she needs and the older children enjoy doing it.

4. Take the baby along on a camping trip. We went on a trip to the Ozarks, down by Table Rock Lake. The baby was right in the middle of all our activities. The older children were very protective, putting sun block on her and watching her when I was cleaning up the campsite.

5. Go on a shopping trip for baby. The little girls wanted to help me choose clothing for the new arrival. They oohed and aahed over all the frilly little dresses, holding them up to their sister. Our son even liked shopping, but only for hardware or furniture for the room.

6. Encourage playtime some of the time. Do not expect your older children to include the baby every time they play make believe. It is good, though, if they can get down on the floor and play with the baby with her toys sometimes. The baby will get used to seeing them near.

7. Help children get Christmas presents for the baby. You might have to come up with chores they can do to earn the money to buy the presents. Another choice is to help them make something the baby can use. The baby will feel loved as her siblings shower her with gifts and affection.

8. Take a swimming class. Take your baby to an infant swimming class as soon as she is old enough. She can bond with her siblings as they enjoy the water together.

9. Go to the park. The park is a wonderful place for babies and siblings to bond. We did not just stroll through the park pushing the stroller. We also showed up for theater or concerts in the park where we all sat on a quilt in the summer evening.

10. Go to a baseball game together. Whether you go to a Little League game or a Major League game, there is no reason to leave the baby behind. If the team jerseys are available to buy, dress baby up along with the other children to show team spirit in the family. As the baby gets older, she will clap and do the wave along with her siblings.

11. Listen to fun children's music with all your kids. Even the older ones will have a good time doing the motions and singing along. The baby will be delighted and so will her siblings.

12. Bring baby along to the older children's events, with limits. The older children might be proud to show off their baby sister or brother at their school play or band concert. However, be prepared to take the baby out of the room if she cries or becomes disruptive.

The key to helping your baby bond with her siblings is to make it easy for them to enjoy being together. When you can foster an environment of appreciation for each other, your children will be happier and emotionally healthier.