Sibling Rivalry Helps Kids Grow

Research indicates kids who are going to have social problems in school already show the symptoms in their preschool years. A recent study conducted at the University of Cambridge followed a group of toddlers to track when delays in social awareness began. Findings point to older siblings having a positive effect on younger kids, even when their relationships are "less than cordial." Sibling rivalry, arguing, and even teasing contribute to the development of preschool children. So don't worry too much the next time your kids start bickering!

Toddlers Up
Dr. Claire Hughes of the Centre for Family Research recently published Social Understanding and Social Lives, a book based on results from the Toddlers Up project. The study followed 140 toddlers from low-income families and families headed by a teen mother. Both children with and without an older sibling were observed over a period of five years.

Emotional Scaffolding
Older siblings lay down a kind of framework researchers call "emotional scaffolding." Younger children develop a sense of fair play, learn to identify other children's feelings, and begin to see how their actions and words can affect another person emotionally. Preschoolers learn to regulate their own actions with the help of the scaffolding laid down through creative play, discussions, and even conflict.

Conflict Resolution
While many parents worry that teasing and bickering will harm our children, the study shows that even negative interactions between siblings help the younger child grow. "The more combative siblings are, and the more they argue and the older child puts the younger one down, the more they are learning complex lessons about communication and the subtleties of language," said Hughes

Advanced Emotional Vocabulary
One of the most interesting findings of the study is that, by age six, children with an older sibling are able to discuss their emotions using an advanced emotional vocabulary. In fact the younger children are able to converse on "an almost equal footing" with their older siblings. Those of us who have large families can see this with our own kids. When my seven-year-old gets into a dispute she uses the same vocabulary as my oldest, who is almost twice her age.

Dr. Claire Hughes has worked at the University of Cambridge for ten years, both as a researcher and a lecturer. Her earlier work in the UK and in France includes a number of peer-reviewed papers on the subject of autism and other pervasive developmental delays.