Siddhartha

Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse, tells the story of a man named Siddhartha who is on a quest to find his spiritual Nirvana. Born as a Brahmin, he encounters many different people during each stage of his lifelong quest. He lives with the Samanas, meets Gotama Buddha, journeys to Samsara, and encounters a ferryman. All of these people help Siddhartha discover what it takes to reach complete Nirvana.

Siddhartha was born into a Brahmin family; his was a Brahmin preacher. Govinda was Siddhartha's best friend, and was also Brahmin. One day Siddhartha decided the Brahmin way of life was not right for him. The next day he told Govinda, "Tomorrow morning, my friend, Siddhartha is going to the Samanas. He is going to become a Samana"(6). Govinda was skeptical about leaving his home and living in the woods with Siddhartha, and was also worried Siddhartha's father would not let him leave the Brahmins. That night Siddhartha confronted his father about leaving. Just as Govinda worried he didn't want to let Siddhartha leave. To persuade his father, Siddhartha stood in the same spot all night long, which led his father to say, "You will go into the forest, and become a Samana"(9).

The next morning Siddhartha left his home and Govinda was standing outside of the hut waiting for him. Together they walked into the forest to become one with the Samanas in the nature. During the stay with the Samanas, Siddhartha's single goal was "...to become empty, become empty of thirst, desire, dreams, pleasure, and sorrow...to let the Self die"(11). He believed that by losing the Self he would reach his goal of Nirvana. However, Siddhartha discovered even when he escaped into nonbeing, he would always return to Self. He then realized the sixty year old leader of the Samanas had not reached Nirvana either. He told Govinda speaking of the leader, "...he will be seventy and eighty years old, and you and I, we shall grow old as he, and do exercises and fast and meditate, but we will not reach Nirvana, neither he nor we"(14). Siddhartha heard a rumor about a man named Gotama, the Buddha, whom he believed could teach him many disciplines. Siddhartha told Govinda and the next day they parted the forest and went searching for the Illustrious one in the town of Savathi.

Upon arriving in Savathi, everyone knew and had seen the Illustrious one, Gotama. They heard that many of Gotama's followers were on the way to Jetavana. Siddhartha and Govinda stayed in the forest and waited until sunrise. When they woke up they saw Gotama being followed by many people, but looking as though he was completely unaware of the people because he was lost in thought. Gotama talked about the Eightfold Path and the four Noble Truths, which were essential in helping Siddhartha accomplish what he set out to capture. Govinda decided to join the community and was quickly accepted. Siddhartha on the other hand decided not to follow Buddha on his journey. Gotama told Siddhartha, "I hope your are not mistaken in your reasoning. May you reach your goal!"(28). After leaving the Illustrious one, Siddhartha believed the Buddha had robbed him of his best friend, but also realized Gotama had done something even greater. He had given Siddhartha, himself.

Siddhartha thought deeply as he journeyed away. He was thinking what he wanted to learn about himself and who would teach it to him. He knew he wanted to rid himself of the Self, but knew he had to find a way not only to deceive it, but a way to conquer it. Instead of learning from other he devoted himself to learn from the secrets of himself. After walking for a long time he felt as though he was newly born, about to start a new life on a new journey. He knew his father, the Samanas, and the Illustrious one gave him the tools and teachings to reach Nirvana. "He moved on again and began to walk quickly and impatiently, no longer homewards, now longer to his father, no longer looking backwards"(34).

At that point he completed his journey of his early life and was reaching his middle years. On his journey he encountered a ferryman. The ferryman took Siddhartha across the river and Siddhartha told him, "I am afraid I have no gift to give you, nor any payment, I am homeless"(40). The ferryman replied by saying, "...I did not expect payment, you will give it to me at some other time"(40). Once he crossed the river he was in the land of Samsara. He slept in the river and in the morning he saw a beautiful women named Kamala approaching him in the grove late at night. Siddhartha desired to learn from Kamala because it was the first girl he had ever spoken to without lowering his eyes. Kamala taught him to clean himself up and look better, which will attract women. Siddhartha asked if that is all he needed to experience love. Kamala told him, "No, he is not yet good enough...he must have fine things"(45). Kamala said Siddhartha must obtain money, clothes and shoes. In order for Siddhartha to get these things, Kamala told Siddhartha to talk to Kamaswami, a merchant. Siddhartha kissed Kamala and realized he had learned of the teachings of love from the beautiful women and would become a rich man the next day.

Siddhartha went to see the merchant Kamaswami. Kamala told Kamaswami Siddhartha knew how to read and write. Kamaswami praised him and said, "...Today I invite you to be my guest in my house"(53). Siddhartha accepted it and Kamaswami gave Siddhartha a place to stay, food, and clothes. Siddhartha learned many new things while working for Kamaswami, but thought of business as a simple game. He would always go and visit the beautiful Kamala whenever he had a chance. Siddhartha became very wealthy, which was what he needed in order to be with Kamala. Many people looked for Siddhartha to trade, to deal, to deceive, and to listen to him. He learned more from Kamala than anyone else and actually believed Kamala knew him better than Govinda ever did or ever could. Siddhartha said, "You are like me, your are different form other people. You are Kamala and no one else, and within you there is a still need and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself, just as I can"(58). After this Siddhartha and Kamala made love and Kamala believed Siddhartha was the best lover she ever had.

Siddhartha had tasted riches, but he could no longer control the senses he could control with the Samanas. Kamala saw that Siddhartha's wasn't living his life because he was still a Samana in his heart. The great days of his youth had been taken away during his middle years at Samsara. He had been playing a game for twenty years, a game that would not lead him on the journey he wanted to finish. For nights Siddhartha had dreams about Kamala and became overwhelmed with feelings of sadness. Siddhartha knew he could stay no longer, he knew the game was over. Inside he felt as though a part of him had died. Siddhartha spent years without a goal, without moving toward Nirvana, without satisfaction. He felt something in his heart that said, "A path lies before you are called to follow. The gods await you"(67). Siddhartha disappeared into the night leaving Kamaswami, Kamala, and Samsara behind. Kamala knew he had to leave, it was time.

Siddhartha was now going into old age and was headed back toward the river away from the land that washed away part of him. He fell asleep after reciting the Om, the ancient Brahmin prayer, and dreamt about it all night long. Upon awakening, he saw a monk in a gown with a shaved head. It was his old friend, Govinda. At the time Govinda was on a pilgrimage with the Illustrious One. Govinda asked Siddhartha, "Have you lost your riches"(76). Siddhartha replied by saying that he had lost his riches, but also lost the parts of him that were Brahmin, Samanan, and the rich man. He also told Govinda he would find himself again. Govinda departed and Siddhartha was smiling as he watched his old friend leave.

Siddhartha thought about the good time he had, but also thought "Nothing is mine, I know nothing, I possess nothing, I have learned nothing...."(77). Siddhartha believed that his journey had taken him nowhere and was worse off then when he first left. He thought the journey was taking him in circles, but he knew he must follow it, because it would lead him the right way, eventually. After thinking and meditating for some time, he had a sense of happiness mount within him, even though just awhile ago he was bent over the water ready to commit suicide.

Siddhartha now also realized why he had struggled in vain with the Self when he was a Brahmin and an ascetic. Too much knowledge had hindered him; too many holy verses, too many sacrificial rites, too much mortification of flesh, too much doing and striving. (80)
Siddhartha looked deeply at the flowing water and fell in love with the river. He knew he could not leave this river so soon ever again.

Siddhartha wanted to stay on this river and learn from it. Siddhartha asked the ferryman to take him across the river. The ferryman and Siddhartha talked and the ferryman eventually remembered the stranger. The ferryman knew this was the Samana he gave a free ride across the river, the same Samana knew he would pay him back later. The ferryman's name was Vasudeva and Vasudeva invited Siddhartha to spend the night in his hut, an invitation Siddhartha promptly accepted. Upon arriving at the hut, Siddhartha told Vasudeva what happened over the past twenty years since they last met. Siddhartha told Vasudeva, "I will learn from you"(86). Vasudeva replied, "You will learn it, but not from me. You will learn from the river"(86).

Time went on and Siddhartha stayed with the ferryman, which led to people thinking the two were brothers, because they looked alike. Both of them were very quiet and many curious people would laugh and call them foolish, while credible people would spread wild rumors. One day Gotama and his followers were passing through town. One of the people traveling with the Illustrious One was Kamala, along with her son. Siddhartha saw Kamala and recognized her right away, but he did not recognize the son he never knew he had. Siddhartha discovered"...it had been her intention to make a pilgrimage to Gotama, to see his face, to obtain some peace"(93). Siddhartha realized she was dying. She died while Siddhartha closed her eyelids with his fingers.

Vasudeva, Siddhartha, and the son buried Kamala in a funeral pyre. Siddhartha's son did not understand him, but Siddhartha was hoping he someday would. Siddhartha decided he had to protect his son from Samsara and the wretched life he lived, but he did not know how to accomplish this. The more Siddhartha thought about it, he decided he had to let his son live and make his mistakes and discover things on his own, just like his father did to him. But one-day young Siddhartha spoke out and turned against his father. "Bring your own twigs, I am not your servant, I know that you do not beat me; you dare not. But you do make me feel small and try to punish me" (100). The following morning the boy had disappeared, and Siddhartha felt he had to follow him. He realized his search was useless after being up and down the river and in the forest for a long time. "He went on steady, no longer to save him, but with a desire to perhaps see him again..."(102).

He walked to Kamala's grave and thought about his first kiss. He stood there for a long time and realized he could not help his son, and that he should not force himself upon him. He realized his father, the Brahmin, let him go and he should do the same to his son. Vasudeva followed him to this spot and after Siddhartha repeated the Om silently, Vasudeva took him back and Siddhartha fell asleep.

Eventually Siddhartha started taking travelers across the river and noticed even wicked people had the blessings of having a child. The more he was on the river the more he noticed he understood their vanities, desires, and trivialities. All of the people were worthy of love even though they had simple foolish urges. Knowledge, he believed wasn't such a great value, and wondered what the goal was of his long seeking. He discovered that his father let him go and he must let his son go. This course of events led Siddhartha to believe his life was a circle.

He went to talk to Vasudeva, but believed that this was not Vasudeva he was talking to any longer. He was not listening as attentive to Siddhartha as before and Siddhartha felt the words were going right through his ears. When he was done talking, "Vasudeva took Siddhartha's hand, led him to the river bank, sat down and told him 'You have heard it laugh, but you have not heard everything. Let us listen; you will hear more.'"(109). As Siddhartha looked into the river he saw his life flash before him. Each image concentrated on his goal, his goal he did not yet fulfill. He listened to the river and felt as though he finally captured the art of listening. He listened and drowned out all of the other voices and heard the Om. It was perfection.

There shown in his face the serenity of knowledge, of one who is no longer confronted with conflict of desires, who has found salvation, who is in harmony with the streams of events, with the stream of life, full of sympathy and compassion, surrendering himself to the stream, belonging to the unity of all things. (111)
Vasudeva then left into the woods. Siddhartha became the ferryman, and would later help an old friend.

Govinda came to the river, and Siddhartha was there, taking the job as the ferryman. Govinda was seeking Nirvana. Siddhartha told Govinda, "Listen my friend! I am a sinner, you are a sinner, but someday the sinner will become Brahma again, will someday attain Nirvana, and will someday become Buddha "(116). Siddhartha told Govinda one can only love things, not words. Siddhartha said teachings are just words and therefor have no meaning. "Nirvana is not a thing; there is only the word Nirvana"(118). He explained to Govinda the life he lived at the river and how listening to the river was the way to become happy, not by listening to words or teachers. Govinda and Siddhartha parted ways with a kiss.

Siddhartha began his quest by trying to attain Nirvana. He though he would be able listen to other people like the Buddha or the Samanas and try to feel complete by living other people's lives. Listening to people was the reason it made it hard to obtain his goal. Luckily, Vasudeva showed him that the only way to reach Nirvana was to be in nature and listen to the wise teachings of the river, which did not speak words. He kept searching throughout his life to find complete Nirvana, but what he did not realize was the river was the answer, not people. He realized the world around him was a circle, because he would get in touch with the Self, then lose it, which made it really hard to reach his goal. He finally ended his quest when he showed Govinda the river was the way to reach Nirvana. He had to complete the circle in order