Side Effects of Polyphasic Sleep

Polyphasic sleepers pride themselves on needing only two to four hours of sleep a day. While the rest of us kill eight hours of perfectly usable time, polyphasic sleepers (or "polyphasers," as they call themselves) cheat the system by being awake and productive virtually around the clock.

The idea behind polyphasic sleep is that through controlled sleep deprivation and regulated naps, we can train our bodies to go instantly into REM sleep, cutting out the non-vital stages of sleep. The adjustment period is brutal, but numerous polyphasers who've documented their experiences report heightened mental clarity, vivid and lucid dreams, and a level of productivity they never thought possible before.

Naturally, I had to try this for myself. With so many personal accounts available online, I thought I was well-prepared for the side effects of polyphasic sleep. And while much of what I read did apply to me, I experienced some unintended consequences that the polyphasers communities barely touch upon. So from my personal experience, here are some of the surprising side effects of polyphasic sleep I experienced.

1. Social Isolation

One of the biggest side effects of polyphasic sleep (and the one that never goes away) is social isolation. Because sticking to a schedule is vital and your body crashes if you try to skip a nap, you really can't travel too far from a bed, couch, or comfy car seat. Making plans to do dinner and a movie with friends is nearly impossible when you've only got a five hour window during which you can be out in public.

Not only is it hard to spend significant time out and about, but when everyone else is asleep, the world becomes a lonely place. Quite a few times I was tempted to hit up my local 5:00 a.m. bar for company, but alcohol inhibits REM sleep. Most polyphasers who quit after the adjustment period cite social reasons for reverting back to normal sleep patterns.

2. Sensitivity to Noise

Being jolted awake by an alarm after only twenty minutes of sleep is enough to make you want to violently kill the clock radio. Being sleep deprived over an extended length of time and hearing that alarm several times a day made me incredibly jumpy around all noise. The neighbors would turn on their television, and I would secretly plan their demise.

3. Upset Pets

My cats are used to sleeping with me every night. It's kind of their special time to bond with me and each other. Before I began my experiment with polyphasic sleep, I would get into bed every night, play with them for a bit, and then we would curl up and pass out for several hours. When I wasn't getting into bed for more than twenty minutes at a time, my cats moped around like I was the biggest jerk in the world.

I experienced this particular side effect of polyphasic sleep at a time in my life where I was completely single. Because sleeping with a partner is a huge bonding experience, I can't help but wonder what it would do to a relationship.

4. Extreme Mood Swings

While polyphasic sleeping, I went through moods like some people go through toilet paper. The adjustment period was the worst, because I would shift from euphoria to utter hopelessness without any warning. After I got used to the schedule, I noticed that I was still more sensitive and subject to bursts of mania and depression.

5. Bad Hair

One of the most annoying side effects of polyphasic sleep for me was that my hair seemed constantly greasy and kind of crunchy feeling at the same time. Maybe it was all the laying on it, or maybe it was my changing metabolism, but my hair sucked the whole time I did this.

6. Gastric Distress

When your body isn't used to be mostly awake 24 hours a day, it throws your metabolism out of whack. For the first several days, I had terrible stomachaches and diarrhea. Once my guts got used to my new sleep schedule, I still had a hard time figuring out the best way to eat. I seemed to go back and forth between being starving all the time and not being able too eat much in one sitting.

8. Accordion Time

Once I adjusted to sleeping in 20 minute bursts, I was able to go into REM sleep almost immediately after laying down and closing my eyes. The dreams I had during my naps were extremely complex and felt like they went on for hours. Being awake around the clock also threw off my sense of time to the point where I couldn't tell if a hour had passed, or only five minutes. The most enjoyable and interesting side effect of polyphasic sleep for me was experiencing how flexible and arbitrary time can be when we un-train our minds to function on a societal clock.