Signals that You Are Getting Played

The pattern is all too common. One moment your relationship is riding a wave of closeness, lust and desire. But the next moment separation, solitary and preoccupation set in.

What is happening? Is it something that signals a slight problem, or is it just the natural ups and downs that happen at some point in relationships?

Often we are too involved to understand what we're going through. But we recognize that there might be a situation. But then, just as we decide to move in that direction, we decide to ignore it and make up excuses. A pattern repeats itself and we are once again at a loss to explain what is going on.

How do you know when things are headed in the wrong direction? For starters, there are common signs that can be clues. Once you see them, you better be on the road to believing.

The common signs of getting played are:

1. Way less clingy
2. No more nagging
3. Excuses
4. No Jealousy
5. Silence
6. Less time spent together
7. Paranoia
8. Ignorance
9. Manipulation of situations

1. Way Less Clingy

There is a natural increase and drecrase of attention that occurs in every relationship, but what we're talking about here is something else. When you look back on the days that your partner was borderline annoying and realize that hasn't happened in quite some time, their attention might be turned elsewhere

2. No More Nagging

There was a time where your partner was calling too much, or asking you questions that you already knew the answers to. And the ones that they didn't know the answers too, were questions so out of the blue. Those curiousities are gone, and so are all questions for that matter, like "How was your day?"

3. Excuses

There were no apologies, there were no mistakes. All of a sudden apologies wore thin and now there are what we call excuses. Regardless of whether or now the excuse is a truth or a lie, it is the corniest detail or unnessary explanation, that makes a reason, an excuse.

4. No Jealousy

Remember when the holding hands got a little tighter when potential competition strolled by that first weekend, or how all of a sudden every dance in the club became a grind? When the dances can be counted on one finger, and the grinds on none, it is time to be concerned. And you should never have to try remember when you last held hands.

5. Silence

The conversation was great at first, there was never a need to turn the radio on in the car. Conversations that are minimal, with one or two word answers either mean that the interest is waning, they are taking up mime lessons, or you have to take up sign language. Try to start a good conversation, but don't try too hard.

6. Less Time Spent Together

Remember when you spent every day of those first two weeks together? It almost seemed like you or the other person had no evening life at all. Then all of a sudden, some friends want to go out for drinks on some obscure night, like a Wednesday. When Wednesday is the day you were both going to watch your favorite show, be very concerned.

7. Paranoia

I think of paranoia as a warning sign in much the same way that I think of ignorance. A sudden increase in paranoia or a change in the places you frequent can indicate that there might be someone else in the picture, or you are simply out of the picture. Paranoia is the ultimate red flag. With every phone call, try to check the tone of the voice on the other line, make sure the name with the caller id matches the gender in the voice.

8. Ignorant

When they become too ignorant, who cares now if you are even getting played. If they are denying any situation you bring to their attention, but the warning signs are definitely there, they might be beyond playing you and moved on in their mind. Be prepared to accept it for what it is.

9. Manipulation of Situations

Perhaps the worse sign of being played is when your partner takes any given situation where there is a disagreement, and purposly turns it around on you. There could be the most obvious of wrongdoings, like them flirting with someone else. If they do something silly like blame you, because you went to the restroom, then there is clear manipulation. Try not to resort to physical actions like slapping, or punching walls. Just deaden the situation right there, and walk away permanently.

You recognize the problem, now what can you do about it?

Getting played isn't peachy, especially when you are really into the person. What you need to do now is make a mental note of the event, and try to make sure you don't get played again. If you are a little naiive and it is almost assured that you will get played again, try not to let it happen the same exact way, or try to pick up on it sooner.