Signs that a Child is Bullying Others

Children are not born as bullies but are shaped by the world they live in. If they are bullied at home by an older sibling, they may bully at school to try and compensate for this. If their parents express anger physically, they will be more likely to do this themselves. Many bullies have high self-esteem and are popular at school.

Warning Signs That a Child is a Bully

Karen Sullivan devotes a chapter to recognizing a bully in her book, Bullying - How to Spot it and How to Stop It (Rodale International, 2006). She says that bullies often exhibit the following signs and if they are coupled with evidence and a typical family background, bullying should be suspected. Typically, a bully:

• Is easily frustrated
• Displays aggressive or dominant behavior
• Uses negative words to describe other children
• Explodes with anger on a regular basis
• Is impulsive and quick to judge
• Likes to take revenge
• Is unable to play and cooperate with others

Factors at Home That May Lead to Bullying

A child may bully because of what he experiences and sees at home. Here are some of the things to look for in the home environment:

• Bad role models - parents who are abusive and violent
• Parents with racist or anti-religious attitudes
• Emotional neglect by parents

Bullying and Friends

If children are spending a lot of time bullying, there may be signs of this in their social and school life. Signs to watch for include the following:

• What the child does in his spare time
• Does the child dominate and control friendships
• Problems with interpreting other children's behavior
• The child has "followers" who obey him
• The child regards himself as superior to his peers

What to Do if a Child is Accused of Bullying

These accusations often come as a shock to the parents. Instead of flatly denying them, it is better to search for the truth. This can be done by considering the following:

• Has the child been in trouble for fighting?
• Does the child downplay the accusations and say he was "just fooling around" or did it "in self defence"?
• The child may call in friends as witnesses.
• The child may have come home with items that are don't belong to him or with extra money.

While it can be devastating to find out that a son or daughter is a bully, it is a place where healing can begin. With parental and school involvement, it is possible to pinpoint the reasons why the child is bullying and attend to these. Apologies should be made and counseling for the family as a whole is often beneficial.