Signs that Your First Date is Doomed

Going on a first date can be unnerving. How do you know that some of the behaviors you are witnessing are not just the result of his own "first date jitters?" If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you will want someone who is "relationship ready" as well. If you are like most of us ladies, you would want to look for someone who is free from past relationships and who is taking care of the critical areas of his life.

After interviewing numerous women and recalling some of my own major "deal breakers", here is a list of the top things to watch out for, signaling that he is not relationship ready.

He is Not Emotionally Available or Serious Minded

• He repeatedly talks about his Ex or past relationships: Has he gotten over his former girlfriend? Is he recently single?
• He very recently broke up with his girlfriend or got a divorce: Has he had other relationships since the break-up or are you the first? He may be unable to move on and begin a new relationship if he is still in "recovery mode."
• He has never had a serious relationship or has had a string of short-lived ones: Is he commitment phobic or does he believe in long-term relationships?
• He makes sexual innuendos and wants to take to you bed: No question here. This is not the best way to start a long term relationship. He obviously does not want to get to know who you are first.

He Comes off as Self-Centered / Rude

• He acts disinterested: Is he avoiding eye contact, not engaging in conversation, looking over your shoulder, looking at his BlackBerry, etc.?
• He talks about himself, not asking anything about you: Are you struggling to get airtime in the conversation? Does he boast about himself regarding the money he makes, his toys or lifestyle? This may be a signal of selfishness, even insecurity.
• He answers calls during your date: Unless he is a brain surgeon, this is a sign of disrespect of your time and that this date is not a priority.
• He arrives late (past your personal threshold) and offers no excuse: This in itself may not be a "deal breaker, but could be, if he is showing other signs of being disinterested.

He Is Not Financially Stable

• He has you pay the entire bill: Any way you look at this one, it is inconsiderate and a sign of being short on funds.
• His credit card is declined: Is he on top of his finances? It could be that he forgot a payment, but may be signs of overspending if he has a flashy watch, expensive car, and talks about extravagant hobbies/lifestyle. Those things are nice, but are a red flag if his card is maxed out.
• He arrives in a beat up car that is in need of major body work: Is he taking care of his personal business? A sign that he lacks collision insurance for his car or has no available funds for repairs.

He May Have Substance Abuse Issues

• He is drinking excessively or he arrives after having a few drinks under his belt: Does he show signs of having a drinking problem or any substance abuse problem?
• He makes several trips to the men's room and returns acting like he is under the influence (talks quickly, slurred speech, too energetic/hyper, sweaty, dilated pupils, etc.)

He is Dishonest

• He confesses (or you find out) he was less than truthful about anything critical he told you personally or indicated in his online profile: age, marital status, living arrangements, children, job, physical appearance, etc.