SIGNS of IMPENDING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

We all want someone we can call our own. Some of us need that someone else, so badly, that we chase the relationship. It is too simple to see someone's reaction or expression and interpret it as an agreement to a long term relationship. That may not always be the intended message. It is important to understand each other and know each other before springing full forward into that long lost, ever elusive, relationship of destiny.

If a physical relationship is established well before it's time, it is more likely you will experience questionable outcomes. You may have been the one who so desperately needed that new relationship, while your targeted partner may have simply been looking for companionship. If things progress to the point of no return, someone is going to be frustrated and possibly, very disappointed.

So many relationships today seem to falter soon after they are realized. What may have seemed to start out as "the match made in Heaven" can rapidly deteriorate to the "couple from Hell." If you have suspicions your hard fought battle to secure your relationship may be faltering, you may want to keep an eye out for some very tell tale symptoms. If your partner uses one or more of the following sentences, or they express similar attitudes, you may want to look deeper into his or her true intentions.

1) QUESTIONING VOWS: I was married to a woman who soon after the wedding was faced with what the Unity Candle really means. The Unity Candle celebration is a uniting of two individuals into one unit. My wife took the celebration as simply something cool for a wedding. Her question when we first talked about it, soon after our wedding, was a

concerned, "The Unity Candle doesn't mean that, does it?"

Your wedding vows really are sacred. Whether you want to recognize them as such or not does not change the meaning of them. A Unity Candle is your public submission of your self to your mate, both male and female. To think otherwise is foolhardy.

2) YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU: Once your partner quits saying the words "I Love You," by themselves and begins using the phrase that tells you what you know or think, you have lost a bit of your relationship to their realization. They have just now fully realized what they have gotten themselves into and they are not pleased. They may even want out.

3) WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS: Embrace your jealousy. You need to be diligent on ensuring your mate has no other suitors. Your jealousy is your instinctive, emotional response to the suspicion of ill deeds gong on. When your mate simply questions your jealousy rather than answer your probing questions, they are trying desperately to avoid your scrutiny. To give in may expose themselves and their thoughts.

4) DON'T BE SO INSECURE: The "bad" mates most often used weapon is the "insecurity" card. Anything you may do or ask or wonder can, and probably will, be responded to with an accusation of you being insecure. The "fault finding" mate does not want you to question them. They are the ones who are insecure; they are afraid if they submit to your questions and please they will trip themselves up.

5) SO POSSESSIVE: Your ill-fated relationship, if not patched up, will reach a point where your mate will "un-attach" themselves from you and everything that is yours. If you claim to want to spend intimate time with your mate, the response you will get will be something on the line of you being too possessive. This is a key turning point in a failing relationship. Your mate wants to be alone or at least without you, and your companionship is looked at as no more than possessiveness.

6) WE'RE JUST FRIENDS: Eventually, if there is one, the subject of your mate's pre-occupation will come to light. Your mate will want to spend time with that subject without having to explain it every single time. What better way to do that than to introduce him or her to you as a "friend." We're just friends. Be careful!

7) DON'T YOU TRUST ME: I know so many people say a good relationship is built on trust but trust has nothing to do with a secure relationship. No, you should not trust him or her. Or, you shouldn't depend entirely on trust. It isn't just your mate that can tear down the relationship you have built. The world is full of predators today. So many men and women who could care less what anyone's status is back home. They spot a target and they begin the pursuit. Don't trust your trust on its own, be jealous!

8) I SAID I WAS SORRY: Finally, the unspeakable has happened. No matter what the act, it doesn't always have to end up in a total breakdown of the relationship. If your mate is indeed genuine and truly sorry, you will know it. If, however, your mate, upon being found out, can only say something like "I said I was sorry." There is no regret. There is no sorrow or repentance. That is no more than a plea of frustration.

9) GROW UP - GET WITH IT: Your mate has now been through one episode and has survived. You have forgiven him or her and they are still in the house. Now they are bold, brave and confident. They see themselves as a person of the world, a swinger, a playa'! They want you to acknowledge their new found knowledge and freedom and go with them. Don't do it, it is a slippery spiral to desperation and desolation. Run, now!

Hopefully, your relationship does not have to get this bad before you recognize the signs. Believe me, regardless of how you feel about some of the terms I have used, jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity; this is indeed a chronological list of emotions a "bad" mate will experience as they try to work themselves out of that "Unity Candle" thing. Keep a vigilant watch, be a jealous partner, keep your partner on the straight and narrow.