Signs You Shouldn't Get Back Together

Getting back together with an ex can often seem like a good thing - and sometimes, it may be successful. However, there are certain instances in which it is best to avoid getting back together at all, despite the prospects of it working out this time around. Starting fresh may seem tempting and can be hard to not take your ex back at first, but you'll thank yourself in the long run. Here are some signs you shouldn't get back together.

Your ex was physically abusive. For some of us, this may seem like common sense. Until you have walked in the shoes of someone who has been abused, however, you cannot easily say that you wouldn't take back an abuser. Unless your ex has had extensive therapy and anger management sessions since you have broken up, chances are that things will go back to the way that they were before. The only difference? Next time might be too late.

Your ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. If your ex was constantly putting you down and making you feel worthless, it was most likely due to his or her own insecurities. It may have also been due to modeling behavior - meaning her mom may have verbally abused her dad, so it's what she views as a normal relationship. No one deserves to be emotionally and verbally abused. Unfortunately, if you take your ex back, chances are that he or she will remain abusive or the relationship will not be able to work because the abuse has already left you with mental and emotional scars and insecurity. Either way, it's a bad idea.

Your ex was controlling. Being in this type of relationship is not fun for the person who is being controlled. Some may not recognize the signs of a controlling relationship, which you can lead more about in Lauren R.'s article, "6 Signs of a Controlling Boyfriend." Note that these signs apply to girlfriends too. Not only is a controlling person emotionally abusive, but they are often verbally abusive too. In some cases, this type of relationship may even lead to physical abuse.

Your ex feels like "just a friend." This is undoubtedly much less harmful than the three scenarios mentioned above. Think about this, however. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who you can talk to, but may not be intimate with? Or would you rather find someone who you can have a great friendship with and also feel very passionate about? Some people simply aren't meant to be anything more than friends and, if the feelings aren't there, the easiest thing that you can do is accept that.

It is not easy to get back together with an ex and make a relationship work, but it is possible. These are just a few of the many instances in which getting back together simply may not be the right option.