Signs Your Spouse or Lover May Be Gay or Lesbian

Most people know being in the closet means you're a homosexual. How many Americans actually come out of the closet? Not all. There are more people than you know who are in a heterosexual relationship, although they are really gay or lesbian. The way the world see's homosexuals today is what keeps most homosexuals in the closet. The torment, name calling, threats, abuse and the feeling of being unwanted is what most homosexuals can live without, so they choose to stay in the closet. Others choose to come out and deal with whatever others want to give them.

If there was no violence, torment, threats or abuse toward gay and lesbians, or being disowned by family and friends, there would be millions of homosexuals living their lives open. There are thousands of gay and lesbians who just choose to be in a heterosexual relationship to keep from being disowned by family and friends. It is sad to say a person cannot live their life the way they want without being disowned.

It should not matter if you are homosexual or heterosexual, everyone has their own life. Everyone can live their life the way they want, even homosexuals. There are many heterosexuals who have homosexuals for friends and don't care how they live their life because it isn't their life to live.

For most homosexuals who have entered a heterosexual relationship, thinking this would cure their homosexuality, later realize it's a lie and learn that there is no cure. Some will go on to have children and then once they realize they are still having homosexual thoughts and feelings, may feel it is to late. Most will stay in the relationship for the children as to not hurt them. Staying in the relationship is hurting the children anyways because you're unhappy. The relationship can't be that healthy if your unhappy. The intimacy is most likely not happening as often and is not as fulfilling for you.

Signs that you're spouse may be gay or lesbian is little to no intimacy. They have every excuse not to have oral sex. They don't worry if your talking to someone else or flirting. They believe it is ok for you to have sexual acts with others and it does not make them jealous. They avoid spending time alone with you and they don't make plans to do things together. They don't make the first move when it comes to the little things, like holding hands or just a kiss. They may often appear to be depressed, sleeping a lot and not completing their daily task. You may notice looks or out of the way comments they give to the same sex.

Some may try to find things to do and keep busy so that time alone with you is less. Your spouse or lover may stay out longer with friends and keep busy around the home or may become withdrawn, avoiding family and friends. They live in fear that their secrets or true feelings will be revealed.

Living a lie is never good, especially when it involves hurting your spouse or lover and children in the process. Coming out can be a difficult time. You will face many bumps like ridicule, hatred by some, and some will even turn their backs on you. However, the freedom you feel once you admit who you really are, out weighs the bad. Just be true to yourself and know that there are beautiful colors at the end of the rainbow.