Silencing a Barking Dog Through Astral Projection

How many times have you been awakened by a neighbor's barking dog? Why can't they shut that dog up? You are missing some important sleep because somebody can't control their pet. Maybe you should call animal control. But then your neighbor might suspect that you snitched on them, and things might be a little cool at the next block party. Why not resolve the problem through astral projection. All it takes is a little activation of the pineal gland, a little meditation, a little imagination, and some improvisation, and you're on your way to a good night's sleep.

Astral projection is not as hard as it sounds. The pineal gland, the so-called "third eye" controls most aspects of astral projection. It resides behind your eyes in the middle of your head. Meditate, and turn yourself inward toward your pineal gland. (You're sitting in bed unable to sleep. What else do you have to do? Give it a shot.) Once you become aware of your pineal gland and concentrate on it, you will feel a heaviness in your brain. That's how you know it's working. Now, with your "third eye", you will endeavor to see beyond the bed, beyond the windows of your bedroom, into the darkness of night, behind the row of houses across the street, and into the back yard of the offending dog.

Now, you will need to project yourself. Visualize a cord or a cable emanating from your head. Allow yourself to travel outside of your body along that cord to the end, into the back yard of the barking dog. This will take a lot of practice. The dog will sense your presence. Dogs are very perceptive-that's why they bark when there's seemingly nothing there. They pick up on things that we don't. Including disembodied entities.

Now, here's the tricky part. You need to project an image that the dog will understand and respect. In this situation, you can project yourself as a supernaturally huge dog. Visualize yourself as a 10 foot tall dog of the same species as your neighbor's barking dog. The dog will now feel as if he is a very small puppy, and you will seem like a parent dog.

If you have successfully completed the steps above, it is now time to silence the dog. Visualize yourself (as the humongous dog), putting a huge paw on the neck of your neighbor's barking dog. Use a gentle but firm force to push the dog to the ground. The dog will see this as a gesture of power by a dominant dog. Now, visualize yourself putting your mouth over the dog's muzzle. This is a gentle correction, telling him to keep quiet. Now listen to hear if the dog has stopped barking. If not, you're not trying hard enough.

What you may hear is a whimper and then a temporary silence. Let up on the dog. He may try to test you again. Simply reapply pressure and put your "mouth" over his muzzle again. Do this as many times as it takes to silence him for good. Then travel back up the cord, back into your brain, and settle down for a well deserved good night's sleep.

Of course this might not work at all. But it does give you something to do while you're lying in bed, wide awake, listening to that confounded dog.