Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder Halloween Costume Idea

Brian Jones
Halloween is coming. That means it's time to party and celebrate the coming of the dead and revelry of the evil spirits before the Saints take over the next day. If you are like me, you hate orthodoxy and political correctness can bite an ass. That's why I am here to offer you the best in irreverent Halloween costumes. It's always a difficult decision on what to wear or who to be at that big Halloween party. Why not capitalize on the newest and most popular movies? You can never go wrong with that. One of the most popular movies this summer was Ben Stiller's new feature, Tropic Thunder. It made a big splash at the box office and was highly regarded in critical circles. It also had its controversy in the unabashed dialogue concerning "retards" between the characters portrayed by Stiller and Downey. This dialogue using the blacklisted word of "retard" was summarily bashed by sociological rights groups and those whose minds are locked in an absurd cage where language creates reality. This myth was quickly disbursed but little publicized by Howard Stern when he polled actual "developmentally disabled" people to show that they prefer they be known by the now politically incorrect term of "retard."

If you love to ride on the wave of controversy, there is no better character to portray this Halloween than Simple Jack. This was Stiller's character's previous role in an attempt to be serious, but could not get the Oscar due to Simple Jack having no non-retarded qualities. He went "full retard" as Sean Penn had done before and came up empty handed.

This Halloween, you can show your insensitivity by portraying Simple Jack yourself. All it takes are few easy clothing cues and a minimal of make-up. The character can be portrayed by wearing any t-shirt and a pair of coveralls. That is the only clothing requirement.

As far as personal appearance, you may have to go for a new haircut to be completely believable. Otherwise you must be able to pull your hair up and wear a good straight-hair bowl wig. The hair must be reddish but slightly blond. Any brown make-up pen can provide the necessary freckles. Make the freckles large and outstanding. A good set of fake teeth will help as well, however, you don't want the overly exaggerated ones, but only slightly out of line.

The only other thing you need to know is to wear a smile and speak a few good quotes such as "That makes my eyes rain," and "I have a good brain." Repeat this throughout the evening to let people know that you care...about your costume.

I guarantee that by donning this costume you will create about yourself a great air of...something. May it be cheers or jeers, the real goal is just getting noticed. You won't win any awards, but you will make a plethora of both friends and enemies. Good times.

Published by Brian Jones

After my divorce, I decided to pursue my dream of writing full time from Miami with sights on moving to Alaska within the next two years.  View profile

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.