Simple Tips for a Relatively Pain-Free First Date

Shelly Barclay
A first date is a time to get to get a sense of how you feel about someone on a superficial level. Deep feelings and perceptions come later. However, despite a first date's superficial quality, it is a very important date - one that you do not want to screw up. You could mess up your chances for a second date if you have any first date blunders. That is why it is important to get it right the first time when it comes to dating.

One of the best first date tips anyone can give is to look your best. If you are happy with how you look, you have one more reason to be confident on your first date. Now, looking your best doesn't mean you have to go out and buy an expensive dress and have your hair done, especially if your first date is with a drummer. Looking your best means wearing something nice that reflects your personality and makes you feel good. That can be a sexy top and jeans or a full suit. Whatever makes you feel good.

This next first date tip is an important one. Do not let your expectations run away with you. In other words, go ahead and fantasize about a perfect date, but do not hold your date to unrealistic expectations. The less you expect, the less likely it is that you will be disappointed. That is not to say that you cannot expect things like courtesy, conversation and a good time. It is to say, do not expect a magic carpet ride, or even just sex for that matter. Expecting too much of people right off the bat does not bode well for the rest of the relationship.

No list of first date tips would be complete without some safety advice. Make sure you bring cab fare and a fully charged cell phone, especially if you do not know your date that well. In addition, make sure that someone knows where you are going and whom you will be with. If the plans change, call your confidante and let them know where you are going. You should probably excuse yourself and go to the restroom to make this call. You want to be safe, but you do not want to look like you are checking in with your parents.

Never bare all on a first date thinking that someone has to be comfortable with all of your quirks right off the bat in order to love you. Too much information on a first date can be too much to digest for your date. Therefore, you should start with the basics, job, hobbies, music taste, etc. Save the family drama, medical issues, mental issues and ex-drama for at least the second date. This is not only for your date's sake. You will only hurt yourself if you tell all to someone who is ultimately unreceptive.

You're first date may bomb despite all of your best intentions, that is why it is important to have an exit strategy in case your date turns out to be unsavory. No one wants to be stuck with a rude or obnoxious date. You can arrange to have a friend call you at a specific time. If, by that time, the date is going poorly, pretend that friend is calling about an emergency and high tail it out of there. If all else fails and the date is really, really bad, pretend you are sick. Go into the bathroom, wait a while, call a cab with that fully charged cell phone, come out looking ill and inform your date that you are sick and taking a cab home. After that, proceed home and pour yourself a drink.

All of these tips may come in handy on a first date, but remember, you may find yourself on a first date where all rules are out the window and all bets are off. You know, the kind of date that makes you feel like you just won the lottery. When that happens, go with your gut, no amount of first date tips can prepare you for love. Only you know what to do then.

Source

Personal Experience

Published by Shelly Barclay

Shelly Barclay writes on a variety of topics from animal facts to mysteries in history. Her main focus is military and political history. She is the Boston History Examiner, Military History Examiner and the...  View profile

7 Comments

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  • Jennifer Wagner4/1/2011

    I've been married for 17 years. I miss that nervous/excited feeling of a first date.

  • Shelly Barclay3/27/2011

    Haha, Donna. Now that's what I call an icebreaker.

    Dan, my personal experiences are horror stories. Luckily, I haven't dated much, so there are only a few horror stories.

  • Dan Reveal3/27/2011

    This was fun reading about your personal experience! You know I think you're an interesting person, and it's nice to know you a little better..:) I was just reading an interview where you talk about writing/networking 10 hours a day..! Thanks, Shelly!

  • Donna Cavanagh3/26/2011

    I heard Ecstasy helps people relax too. Only kidding.

  • Dina Sullivan3/26/2011

    Oh Boy, do I remember that, lol. Great article Shelly... :o)

  • Bill Hanks3/26/2011

    I still remember that queezy feeling. lol

  • Eric Hetvile3/26/2011

    And don't forget to have 3-6 beers before you go. Personal experience.

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