Simple Ways for Improving Relationships

Interpersonal relationships can seem like a very complex subject at times. Yet, it is relationships that make a family, a group, a town, state, nation and civilization. Relationships left to sour can cause untold expense and upset. Philosopher L. Ron Hubbard developed a simple formula for strengthening, improving and repairing relationships that you might find of some practical use.

Mr. Hubbard postulated that all human relations, no matter how complex, include some fundamental, common elements. When one familiarizes oneself with those elements it becomes very simple to establish harmonious relationships, whether they be familial, romantic, business or otherwise.

Hubbard's theory is called the ARC triangle. A equals Affinity, or degree of liking of or willingness to occupy the same space with. R equals Reality, those things about the perceivable environment people agree upon as real. C equals Communication, the interchange of ideas with another or others. When affinity, reality and communication are combined they add up to understanding.

The goal in a relationship is to increase or strengthen understanding. That can be accomplished by increasing, any or all of affinity, reality and communication. If one perceives a breakdown in communication with a friend, that communication can be restored by demonstrating more affinity for the friend, or offering an idea that friend can agree with (or share reality on). That simple step can restore communication and thus increase understanding. Similarly, if one perceives a breakdown in either or both of affinity or reality with a friend, an increase in communication with the friend will remedy it.

Hubbard called it the ARC triangle because as one of its corners - affinity, reality or communication - is concentrated on and increased, the other two elements seem to automatically expand with it. The end result being a greater level of understanding between two or more people. You can test the theory for yourself in any type of relationship.

Next time you feel a breakdown in understanding between yourself and another, try to determine what went south: Affinity, Reality or Communication. If it was a break in affinity, then in a very freindly fashion (affinity) communicate honestly to your relationship what you observed. See if that doen't restore understanding to your relationship.

As with all of his theories, Hubbard suggests people experiment with it for themselves. If it works you've got yourself a new tool in life. If it doesn't, you move on and find another tool that does work for you.