Singing to Plantlife: My Top Ten Ideas

I am, at first glance, hardly the one to be writing about vegetational songs. Whatever the opposite of green is on the prism, that's the kind of thumb I have. In fact, I sort of lean toward the late Dorothy Parker's viewpoint. When asked to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence, she proclaimed: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

On the other hand, I do know a few tunes, and, inasmuch as this was a topic up for grabs, I grabbed. You know what they say: you snooze, you get puffy eyes. If I were to grow something, though, and had nothing better to do with my time than entertain the damn thing, here are ten pieces I might choose, in reverse order of whatever I might consider effectiveness. Of course, I am assuming the plant is on the same level of sanity as I am. Too bad for the plant. Sigh; okay, here goes.

10. Old Fashion Garden, Cole Porter, 1912

To the extent this song is remembered at all, it is as Porter's first hit tune. In terms of the skill the composer would demonstrate in his career, this song is a long way away from things like "Anything Goes," "Too Darn Hot," or "I Love Paris," just to name three, but it is a nice tune, nevertheless. Given the title, I would suggest you use this one on your more traditional vegetation, rather than those new-fangled nectarines or tangelos.

9. Mountain Greenery, Rodgers and Hart, 1925

This may not be the song you would play for your hothouse plants, since it extols the virtues of the great outdoors, but, since I got a chance to extol those selfsame virtues on the stage, many years ago, I'm throwing this one into the mix. Also, it's a nice catchy tune with some clever lyrics. Here is a much different rendition from mine, as you would no doubt be able to guess.

8. Here Comes the Sun,George Harrison, 1969

What's not to like about this lovely song about the thing without which nature's flora thrives not? This is a versatile song you can sing either to a loved one or a favorite plant. I have not sung this one to date, but someday...who knows?

7. The Rose of Allendale, Irish Traditional

Yes, I could say I'm throwing this one and the next one in because of the day I'm writing this article, but these songs would make the cut if I were writing the piece on Fart Silently in a Crowded Room Day (September 9^th, for those of you who are watching the calendar). Take a listen.

6. Down by the SallyGardens, Irish Traditional

And here is the other wonderful Irish song, performed by Orla Fallon of Celtic Woman.

5. Symphony #6, Ludwig Van Beethoven, 1808

Is it fudging to consider a whole symphony a song? I don't think so, but, if anyone has an issue with the notion, then just consider the First Movement, part of which is enclosed, back there, for your dining pleasure.

This is one of those Beethoven symphonies with a nickname. When L.V. put it out, the critics realized they had not hung a nickname on one of those since they called his third one the "Erotica," or something like that.

"Vot should ve call tiss vun?" they wondered.

"How about Der Nod Opff to Zleep Unt Drool on der Shirtfront unt Schnor like der Chain-zaw?"

"Nein, dot's too long," another critic pointed out.

"Vell, den, how about Der Doesn't Make You Tink of Blut und Iron At All?"

"Ach, not very catchy," ventured yet another skeptic.

"Ir zort of reminds me of der nature. Vy dunt ve call it der Pastoral?"

"Ja, das vill vork," they all agreed.

4. The Flowers that Bloom in the Spring, Gilbert & Sullivan (The Mikado)

Sadly, The Mikado is the one major G&S opera in which I have not had a chance to perform. But I did sing The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring once in a piano bar duet.

The first verse of the song will surely offer all sorts of encouragement to your plants, especially with the coming of springtime, while the second verse will provide them some amusement about the tribulations of those pathetic creatures who are somehow able to be neither mineral nor vegetable.

3. Grow for Me from Little Shop of Horrors, 1982

What a perfect song this is for that reluctant plant that refuses to thrive. It is also my favorite song in this very-well scored show (by Alan Merken and Howard Ashman). I know most aficionados of the show like "Suddenly Seymour" or "Somewhere That's Green" as their favorites, but I like this one.

In a way it is a typical teenage lament for the time in which the story is set, but, instead of being sung to and about a girl, it's to a plant: the notorious Audrey II. Someday, I'll have to order the sheet music, because I have only had a chance to sing Grow for Me once in a piano bar. The fellow who knew the song has since retired, but I don't feel I should be done with singing it.

2. Plant a Radish from The Fantasticks, 1960

As is the case with so many of these songs, the garden in the song is a metaphor for something else, in this case, the difficulty of raising children.

I will be happy to provide a look at the song, but I note that I discussed it extensively in an earlier essay, More Rating of Songs: My Top Duets and Trios for the Stage. It is #10 on the list. By the way, if you want to acquaint yourself with the even better stage duets and trios, you should feel free as a bird to examine the follow-up article.

1. The Garden Song, David Mallett, 1978

There is no better song you can sing to your agriculture to give it a good feeling all over, as far as I can tell. (This from the guy who grows tomatoes the size of beebees). Pete Seeger put out a nice version of the song, but I prefer Arlo Guthrie's treatment.

Now, understand something about the younger Guthrie (He's Woody's son): he is never truly happy in concert until he asks the crowd to sing along on a given song, then excoriates them for their lack of enthusiasm. Generally he has done this with his best-known hit, "Alice's Restaurant," but, since the abolition of the draft, the song has become dated. These days, The Garden Song seems to be his favorite vehicle (I should warn you, the link I posted runs long-all of nine minutes-but it is very entertaining.).

It happens that I live about four miles away from the Montgomery County Fair Grounds, so I stop by from time to time. One particular Sunday, they were having a craft show, featuring a concert by Arlo Guthrie. He did sing "The Garden Song," and, being the incurable ham (so to speak) that I am, I joined in on the chorus at the first opportunity. Me and maybe two other people in a crowd of a few hundred. I had been through this with "Alice's Restaurant," back in 1968, so I knew what was coming. Still it was fun, and I was very glad to sing this song with Arlo Guthrie as my backup band.

Well, there you have my ten favorite songs for plants and people who sing to them. Come to think of it, maybe I'll try another tomato crop this summer.

Sources

Wikipedia

YouTube

Own observation and performance