Single at 30 and Loving It

All the single folks who are creeping up on the big three-oh know that there's a lot of pressure to find that perfect significant other and settle down. What our well-meaning families and friends may not realize is that some of us have been putting off marriage for good reasons. Our loved ones want us to be happy, but when some of us hear the word "marriage," we also hear "mortgage," "colicky babies," and "socks on the living room floor." Here are six reasons why I love being single at 30, and why I don't plan to settle for just anyone who comes along.

1. I look great for my age.

I'll be the first to tell you that I'll never be the skinniest girl in the room. My hair isn't the longest or the shiniest, and I can't mash my wide feet into a pair of heels to save my life. But for some reason, I haven't been aging at the same rate as my peers. Most people who meet me for the first time peg my age around 22 or 23. When I proudly proclaim my real age, I have the pleasure of seeing that shocked expression and then sucking up the compliments.

I suspect that not having a husband or kids keeps me feeling more well-rested and youthful than my counterparts. It's hard work sustaining a marriage, having babies, and caring for young children. I imagine that I get more regular sleep than my married friends because I'm not stressed about money disappearing from the shared checking account or choosing the right pediatrician. Being single at 30 means that I'll be looking good long enough to snag and settle down with a handsome fellow whenever the time is right.

2. I can stay out or stay up all night for no good reason.

Being single at 30 gives me the right to be selfish about my time for a few more precious years. Granted, I'm not physically capable of partying like a college kid any longer, but I do enjoy the freedom to come and go as I please. It would take a lot for me to give up the unique pleasure of being a stable adult who can go out for pie at three in the morning or take random long walks in the rain. Whether I want to stay up all night watching True Blood on the couch or dancing at my corner bar, I don't have to check in with anyone else.

3. No one ever catches me pretending to be a German opera singer in the shower.

I'm not the most private person in the world (as evidenced by this article). However, there are some distinctly private pleasures that I indulge myself in that I don't want anyone else around for. Being single at 30 means I can be a German opera singer in the shower, make poop smells in the bathroom and not worry about my sexy man going in right after me, and talk to my cats about the minutia of my day. No one is going to "accidentally" read my journal or see me in my comfortable panties. It would take a real hunk of burning love to make me want to trade in my everyday privacy for domestic partnership.

4. There's always room in my bed for my cats.

While letting a bunch of cats sleep with me is pretty cliché for a single 30-year-old, I absolutely love that my bed is all mine. My cats and I can loll about on Sunday mornings. I read crappy novels, play video games, and even pile work around me in my wonderful bed. On those occasions that I do coerce a gentleman into a horizontal position with me, sharing a bed with someone else is a fun novelty and not an obligation.

5. My married friends are starting to look at me like I'm a wise old sage.

I have several groups of friends: my grad school pals, my old college chums, my "back home" friends, and my neighborhood bar friends. In all of these groups, I'm one of the last standing single people. In a couple of those groups, I'm the only single person. When my friends' marriages falter (as happens about 50% of the time), they look at me like I'm brilliant for not having settled down yet.

Instead of considering myself a genius for not marrying, I think it's more likely that I haven't found the right person for me yet, and I'm brave enough not to settle for just anyone. That being said, I have more cumulative dating experience than most people in my age group, simply for not having married and taken myself out of the dating pool. So I get to play the role of the wise friend and the strong shoulder, which makes me feel loved and needed in a way that a meaningful and long-term relationship also does.

6. I can be as choosy as I want to be about whom I date.

Having made it to the ripe old age of thirty as a single lady, I know that my ovaries won't explode if I don't find a boyfriend tomorrow and get married next week. Because I've had a lot of dating experience and developed self-confidence that comes with that experience, I have no trouble kindly rejecting suitors that don't tickle my fancy. Ten years ago, I know I sometimes stuck it out with losers because I didn't want to be mean, I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't trust the idea that I could do better.

At 30, I've met a lot of great men in men life. Some have been lovers, and some have been friends. While I obviously never ended up marrying any of them, my experience tells me that there will always be good men in the world, and I have no doubt that I will get together with a good man eventually. But in the meantime, I don't need to settle for anyone who won't make me happy.