Single and Living Alone - Be Aware

Glenda Furch, a resident of Fort Worth, Texas went missing Friday, September 28 after leaving her job at the General Motor's plant in Arlington, Texas. Ms. Furch's daughters alerted the police when they hadn't heard from their mom over the weekend.

Like Ms. Furch, I am a single woman living alone. Unlike Ms. Furch, there would be no one to sound the alarm if I went missing. It's not that I'm not loved or have been orphaned. It's mainly because I have been alone the majority of my adult life; by choice. I have had the opportunity to live with relatives and have had roommates along the way. But since I have embraced a life of peace, I realized long ago that peace normally is most prevalent when alone. With that said, I realize having limited contact with people is not necessarily a good thing.

I speak with family normally on the weekend, I do not know any of my neighbor's and (being a tad bit old fashion) I don't date. So, I realize, like Ms. Furch, once I leave my office my whereabouts are not known until someone reaches out to me.

Since I work in law enforcement and read various cases on a daily basis I get a birds eye view of some of the things single women (men are not excluded from this) do to endanger their lives. I am a great example of what not to do when you're alone. My level of awareness has improved since I've been in this work environment and I would like to offer some potentially life saving tips to you.

DO YOUR SHOPPING DURING DAYLIGHT HOURS OR IN A GROUP

I was notorious for going to the grocery store at 3 AM. Why 3 AM? No one is there to bother you. I would park on the side of store, zip in, zip out and head home.

I have read so many reports where the woman has parked on the side of the store and has been unloading her groceries, totally oblivious to her surroundings and the people around her. There were a couple of high profile cases in Fort Worth were the woman was asked for directions by her attacker and was then assaulted when the person gained her trust.

If you must shop at night or in the wee hours of the morning:

Park in front of the store in a well lit area.
Pay attention to people approaching you as you leave or enter the store.
Do not feel bad about talking to people with your window slightly cracked, engine running and in drive.
If it doesn't feel right, do not get out of the car or walk to the car.
If it doesn't feel right, ask security to escort you to your car.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO HURT SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO HURT YOU

Part of my duties at the police station are to take depositions. While taking the statement of a rape victim the detective asked the young girl if she fought back. Her response was, "I didn't want him to hurt me". I had to bite my lip to stop short of giving advice. I didn't want this young woman to feel bad. Nor did I want to be disciplined for offering unsolicited advice. But as soon as the detective walked away and was out of ear shot I turned to this 17 year old girl (with such a little frame) and said, "Don't you ever be afraid to hurt someone who is trying to hurt you!!"

Dying is not a good thought. But if you fight back, even if you don't win it, there will be enough DNA to get that joker off of the streets.

GET A SUPPORT SYSTEM

I used to talk with my sister Sean, every single day. I used to talk with my friend Frankie, every single day. What happened? Teenagers and a life. Plus, it is not my family and friends job to check on me. I'm a grown woman. It is my responsiblity to be accountable. I am the one who has an abundance of time on my hands and am (seemingly) always available. Those two life lines have daily activities that will not allow them to stop to check on me. So, what's a girl to do? TEXT MESSAGE!

I will text message at least one person each night before going to bed just to say "Hi", "Miss you", "Sleep well". This is my paper trail. Should I go missing during the night they have a time line for when we last spoke. Also, if I am going out of town I will email all of the details to at least 3 people and will leave word with my building manager.

NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR HOME PHONE NUMBER

Okay . . . I'm dating challenged. But one thing I will not do when/if asked out is give my home phone number. Why? It is now entirely too easy to find a person's address on the internet with a home phone number. Cell phones have been a saving grace. I'm not sure how much longer we'll have that luxury. But for now, do not give out the home information to someone you just met.

GET HIS/HER REAL FULL NAME

Here's where I have an upper hand on the general public (and something that will keep me single). I have access to a vast, variety of databases that will allow me to do a background check that would scare Jason Bourne!

- Do not accept a nickname from anyone!

- Write down the license plate number of anyone you meet or is acting strange in a parking lot.

- Look them straight in the eye.

I have done too many depositions, read too many reports and answered too many calls from people who operate on a "hook up" basis. I have met women who have children by men and they do not know the man's real or full name. That's the true tragedy of the "baby mama" and "baby daddy" saga.

If you don't know their name they are a stranger and you should not be sharing personal information (LET ALONE BODY FLUIDS) with that person!!!! That's something we learn when we're five years old. Seriously, anyone over five should not have to be told this!

DON'T SHUT EVERYONE OUT

Yes, I love peace. Yes, I love my alone time. Yes, I love calling my own shots and being the best me I can be. But, if I'm in the street getting my ass kicked I want just one person to care enough to, at the very least, dial 911 for me.

When I lived in a house I made sure to introduced myself to my neighbors. If I had a function at my home I would even invite some of them over.

Apartment living is different. It is totally a transient environment. I will speak with my neighbors as I see them go to and from their cars. I will go out of my way to make eye contact with those who acknowledge me. Not because I'm trying to force a friendship. But because I want them to know my face; should (God forbid) something happen to me.

KNOW YOUR AREA

If you move a lot, make sure you program the non-emergency number of the police station into your phone. Not every situation warrants sirens and a news crew. But should you need to know about your area, self-defense offerings from the police station or you just want to donate to the police association; this will be your starting point.

DO NOT SET A PATTERN

This is something I learned while going through the Air Force Police Academy.

Never set a pattern. If someone knows when you go to work, return home and have evenings out, they are more likely to know when to attack you or burglarize your home.

I'm supposed to be at work from 8 to 5. Since I'm no slave to time (and I haven't been caught yet) I never leave home or return at the same time each day.

There are no foolproof methods to ward off evil. So understand that there are some really bad people on our streets. If you live alone, take some proactive measures to protect yourself. Do not let fear force you into becoming a prisoner in your home. Go to work, church, the mall, the beach . . . where ever! Just know that someone could be watching you.

Lastly, should you have information about Glenda Furch, please contact the Fort Worth police department at 817-335-4222.