Single Mom's Guide to Your Teen's Wardrobe

It doesn't seem like it was all that long ago when we were getting dressed for school ourselves. Personally, I was a child of the eighties and I had more than my fair share of slouchy socks and ripped acid washed jeans. That was they style then and styles do change… My goodness they do change.

Although the current trends aren't as ridiculous as they have been in the past, they still leave a lot to be desired on the part of the typical American family. The boys are definitely wearing their pants higher on their waist than five years ago, and actually look like their jeans are almost the right size. Shorter, cleaner hair styles are coming back for the young men of today as well. I guess that the boys are realizing that the girls won't be swooning after them anytime soon if they continue to look as though they haven't showered in a week and are wearing their older brother's pants.

The young female population seems as though they are trying to me more original, yet everyone tends to look the same. You're a "girly girl", a skater/surfer girl or a "Goth" girl.

If you're a lucky mom of a "girly girl", you'll probably notice the skirts keep getting shorter and shorter, and the coordinating tops are going in the same direction. Keep in mind that this is just a trend, and within a year or so, your daughter will be into something else.

Surfer/skater girls tend to dress more conservatively with simple logo's of their favorite brands on their t-shirts, which are usually somewhat tight-fitting. This can put some single moms (and dads) into panic mode. Relax and take a deep breath, as you are not alone.

The "Goth" girls and guys (although it does seem more prominent in girls lately), are usually the girls dressed head to toe in black with very baggy pants or skirts. They may also be identified with the lovely jet black hair, white face and black make up. This is the look that gets the most attention. If you are a parent lucky enough to have your child dress like this, try not to panic. It doesn't mean that your child is doing drugs; it's just that they are looking for attention. Negative attention works just as well as positive attention.

How to deal with what your kids are wearing to school

Most teenagers are trying to find their own way to rebel against their parents. This is not a new concept at all - It happened in the fifties with Elvis, the sixties with the Beatles and then the protests of the Vietnam War bringing us into the seventies. The eighties were great with the Hair Bands, while the nineties brought us grunge. Now we're into "bling" among others. The teenagers of today are just trying to out do their parents.

When you take your teen shopping at the mall, let them do the shopping. Parents who try to dominate their children's clothing choices are just setting themselves up for more headaches.

As a former mall based retail clothing store manager, I have seen this time and time again. The fights that would break out in the store were absolutely horrid, and both teen and parent would leave the store with very negative attitudes.

Although the parents are usually the ones paying, the kids are the ones wearing. If you go into the store with a positive attitude, your experience will be much better than going in with a negative one. For example, if you go into the store thinking that you're teen is a horrid individual who is not going to listen to anything that you say, you're right - they won't listen to anything that you say.

But if you go into the store with a positive attitude and listen to what your teen is trying to say, you have a better chance of them respecting you throughout your visit.

Another thing mom, if you know that your child will not listen to your opinion (ex. That t-shirt is way too tight), ask the sales associate (preferably a female if your daughter is the one shopping with you) to give their opinion to your daughter. Just inform the associate that you are shopping with your daughter and you believe that the shirt is too tight now, never mind if it will shrink. The sales associates will be more than willing to help you, as most of them realize that you are the one paying and that you probably won't come back if you're not happy. Also, they don't want to see a huge fight break out in the store, no matter who's at fault. The truth is, you will both look like a couple of idiots.

How to change what your teens are wearing to school

Remember, they are rebelling.

I have seen at least one hundred teens who constantly wore black, both to school and elsewhere, "morph" before my eyes and wear color. The key to this success lies within you, the mom.
If you tell your teens not to wear something, they'll wear it. If you tell them not to do something, they'll do it.

If you really hate what they're wearing, don't let them know how much.

Have you ever considered "buying into" what they're wearing? I'm not saying that you should run out and buy eight new black tops and six pair of black pants because you need to realize whatever you pick out for them, they will hate. Just try to take them out to the mall and offer to buy a new outfit for them. Whatever they pick out, say that you like it! Your teen will then become confused because you're not supposed to like it.

It won't happen overnight, but it will happen - give it six months to start noticing it. During this time, it is critical that you don't criticize what your teen is wearing, as they will take it as personal criticism, that you are criticizing the person and not the clothes.

Building a good relationship with you teen will definitely keep you closer throughout your lives.
Don't get upset if you don't like what they're wearing, just tell yourself that it won't last forever and that one day, you'll both look back and laugh, just like every time I see someone with slouchy socks.