Single Mother: REALLY the World's Oldest Profession

...When I can't sleep, I count unpaid bills instead of sheep. It doesn't help me sleep, but ....
...I know what it's like to receive a paycheck for almost exactly the amount of the overdraft in my checking account.
...I've learned that the only thing worse than no job at all is one that consumes 45-50 hours of my time each week, is more than an hour from home, and on payday doesn't pay me enough to make ends meet.
...I can't pay most of my bills. The best I can do is to pay shut off notices.
...My finances are on the Deezen Doze Budget system. This month I pay Deez and let Doze go.
...I have learned that to work and earn more than $600.00 monthly means there is no formal assistance or resource available when I need help.
...I discovered that if you don't get your mail from your mailbox after several weeks, the Post office sends everything back to sender stamped "undeliverable/unknown".
...I learned that it isn't possible to pay the phone bill online from home when the service is disconnected.
...I learned that when you're unemployed, you can't pay your bills, but your kids can get free lunches at school.
...While the gas service was off, I learned how to bathe, wash dishes and do laundry without heat or running hot water.
...I learned that the gas service cannot be restored unless someone is home to meet the service person.
...I now know that you can't get your electric service restored unless the breakers are in the "off" position.
...My family discovered that if you stand a flashlight on its end shining on the ceiling, you can dimly light an entire room.
...I know what it's like to be stuck in the financial trap: can't pay the bills because you don't earn enough money.... can't get a better job because your credit rating is destroyed.
...I regularly must choose the cheapest penalty: late payment fee or bounced check fee or reconnect fee?
...I learned that you can't use an ATM bankcard at the gas pump unless you have at least $50.00 in your account.
...It's not always helpful for friends and family to loan you money by writing a personal check to be cashed.
...I don't understand why EVERY bill collector asks me why I can' pay my bill!!!!!
...Why does the mortgage company keep asking me if I plan to stay?
...My family and I live in fear of going to the mailbox or answering the telephone.
...My heart sinks and I get a panic attack at the sight of a SHERIFF vehicle near my home!
...I sometime drive past the home we lost to foreclosure, to see how well the new owners are caring for "my" house.
...I struggle not to become violently angry when the ex-husband, who abandoned my kids and me, tells me that he isn't angry with us after all these years.
...Other than panties and hosiery, I own almost no clothing that didn't belong to someone else before me.
...When I really feel down, I used to go to Wal-Mart, pick out several items on my fantasy wish list and put them on layaway. I'd smile and dream for a few days. Then go back and cancel the layaway, getting all of my deposit back except for the three-dollar fee. Wal-Mart doesn't offer layaway service anymore.
...I love to visit furniture stores, to look, to sigh and to dream
...I study those free "house for sale" magazines and cut out pictures of my "dream" home.
...I cut out pictures of things that I would like to someday own and paste the pictures into a wish book/scrapbook. If I acquire an item, I ink in the date my wish came true.
...For many years, my hair was severely damaged and frayed from home treatments. I couldn't afford to go to a hairdresser during the years that I struggled to pay hundreds of dollars of weekly childcare fees.
...I "fast" or go on a diet when I don't have grocery money.
...For some it's drugs. For others sex or alcohol. For me it's sleep.
...For me, new underwear is a luxury. To save money, I mend pantyhose and underwear as many times as possible.
...Four things a man can say to make me quickly lose interest in him: 1) "Do you own this house?", 2) "what time is the kids' bedtime?" 3) "I'm an Entrepreneur!" 4) "Don't tell anyone we're dating ..."
...I am a single MOM:struggling, working, fighting for my family's survival, on my own.