Single Parent Dating Tips

Jumping Back into the Dating Pool

Karen E. Lynn
You never thought you'd have to do this again.

But it happens. You're newly single, and now have children in the picture. But it's not impossible to find love again.

When I realized my spouse was leaving me, I had a 15-month-old child. I knew immediately that 90% of his care would be up to me. Additionally, I was the breadwinner. Child support would not be anything significant enough to reduce my working hours. The position the divorce left me in was as a full time mother, full time professional, and no love life.

In order to be a happy, balanced person, you need to dip your toes back into the dating pool. I learned a lot in 2 years of dating. Here are some tips to live by:

Don't date until your divorce is final. You're not ready yet, and won't be a suitable mate for anyone. Additionally, this will confuse your grieving process for the loss of your relationship. You may feel lonely and want to try dating, even casually. I strongly advise against it. Make friends and rely on platonic, supportive friendships to ease your loneliness.

Do try online dating. It saves time and allows you to screen people. You can also immediately communicate that you are a parent in your profile, so if someone isn't interested in dating a parent, they can move on. It saves everyone time.

Dating other parents vs. dating someone without children: both scenarios have pros and cons. It's great to do "family" type activities, and other parents truly understand the realm of responsibility of parenthood. But oftentimes, it's impossible to have time alone to build a relationship. Dating someone without children allows more freedom and flexibly in being able to see one another, but that person needs to understand that your kids come first.

If it does get serious, do introduce them to your kids. Introductions initially should be as "friends" but your kids need to eventually understand you will be happier with a mate in life, and it will make you a better parent to feel loved and supported by another adult.

Published by Karen E. Lynn

Karen has freelanced for a number of publications on the subjects of biography & memoir, book reviews, outdoor sports, travel, technology and cultural studies. A native of the Boston area, she now makes her...  View profile

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  • Donna Lynn8/6/2009

    If I ever date again %2CI will go into it better equipped having read this short piece.

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