Single Parenting: Choosing to Be a Single Mom from a Single Mom's Perspective

Like most single mom's, I didn't plan on being a single parent. I had been married, but he was a drug addict, alcoholic, gambling womanizer that was abusive. He was the father of my first daughter. She was four when we split up and I decided to find a better man. I found another man, but he didn't end up being much better. He was an insecure, possessive, abusive alcoholic. He was the father of my second daughter. It was while I was pregnant with her, that I realized it would be best for my daughters if I raised them on my own. I didn't want them to grow up surrounded by drugs, alcohol, violence and immorality. I had grown up in the midst of all those things and I believed that was the reason why I ended up with the kind of men I did. I wanted my daughters to have a chance at a better life. Though I hadn't planned on being a single mother, I did it by choice for them.

While seven months pregnant, I moved to a different state, taking my other daughter with me. The first few years were pretty hard. My own mother had died when I was eleven, so I didn't know a lot about being a mom and I couldn't go to her for advice. I did have a best friend that was always there by my side helping me when I needed it and being a source of comfort and strength to keep going. She couldn't take away the lonliness though and there were times the lonliness was hard to bare.

As the years have gone by, the difficulty of single parenting has eased as I have grown as a mother and become much more content without a man in my life. I am able to look at all the benefits choosing single parenthood has brought my daughters. They are never around drugs, alcohol, violence or immorality. They don't have to hear fighting, see their mom being abused or be victims of abuse themselves. My daughters have never tried drugs or alcohol nor lost their innocence in immoral relationships. They live in a safe, secure home where they are loved and protected. That means everything to me and makes being a single mom worth it.

It's been over eleven years now since I chose to be a single parent. My older daughter has graduated high school early and is taking college courses. She is a very intelligent young lady who is strong and independent. My younger daughter is also doing great in school. She is a sweet girl full of joy and innocence. I know they would have turned out much differently if they had been raised in the terrible way of life we left behind. I have a great hope for their future, knowing they have been given a chance at a better life. I am confident that I made the right decision when I chose to raise my daughters on my own as a single mom.