Single Parents: Getting Back into Dating

The most important thing I realized when I was a single parent trying to start dating again was that honesty is the best policy. Before accepting a date invitation, or even a phone number, be sure that s/he is aware that you have children.

Being honest about having children up front tackles a few things. First, if s/he runs, makes a snide remark, or even makes a strange face, you will know before ever going on the first date how they feel about your parental status. Alternately, if they start asking for names, ages, and possibly even interests, you will know immediately what to expect when s/he meets your child(ren) for the first time.

Second, some people may feel that you lied by omission if you were not completely honest up front about having children. This may cause future issues if the relationship seems to be heading to the next level.

Third, being honest right from the start about your child(ren) starts the future relationship on a higher level of trust than doing the opposite. We all know that without trust, there is not going to be a good relationship. Honesty builds trust.

Introducing your child(ren) to the person you are dating does not have to be rushed. I always told my children that I met someone, this is his name, and this is what I think of our friendship thus far. I did not introduce anyone to my children too soon. The reasons to hold off the introductions are many, but mine were few.

As a single mother, my children had already had heartache. Children often feel as though they have done something wrong when their parents split up, or even a sense that one of the parents abandoned them by moving out of the family home. Introducing a new man or woman to your child(ren) too soon may have the same effect if the relationship does not work out.

The first time my children met someone I was dating would be at a public place they loved to visit, such as a pool, park, or a playground. Rather than introduce the 'mystery man' as the guy I have been seeing, I introduced him by name, and with the title of a friend.

This way both the children and the man or woman you are dating get to have a real first meeting without anyone feeling nervous, or as though they have to act a certain way. Letting all parties involved act natural helps to break the ice between the 'stranger' and your child(ren).

Another piece of single parent dating advice is do not play the poor, single parent and cry the blues. Being a single parent can have drawbacks in finances, social life, and other areas, but it can also be one of the best times of your life.

Playing the pity card may get you a reputation that you do not want following you. Even if times are hard because of your new status, do not let it show. The same goes for the opposite side of things. Do not act too overly eager and excited to be a single parent or to be back in the dating scene. Admitting to being nervous or excited is fine, but you do not want to act to one extreme or the other.

Be cautious is probably the best advice there is to give to a single parent. Caution for your children and for yourself is imperative when a single parent starts dating again. Do not jump too fast, while trying not to fall too hard, may be tough after a failed relationship.

Be yourself when meeting new people. Single parents have been labeled many things by society, but single parents are the strongest of the strong for being able to do what they do everyday.

Being a single parent is a full time job with mandatory overtime. Do not try to take on too much at one time when starting to date. Take things slow, and if it was meant to work out, it will.