Single Parents: Heroes Without Praise or Glory

The greatest gift a person can every receive is the gift of a new child. Children are great. It is the greatest reward given for living your life. It is the hardest and most rewarding task of life.

Under the best of circumstances, parenting is not an easy task. When a person becomes responsible for the growth and well-being of another human life, the task can be very overwhelming. It can seem like an insurmountable task, and it fills parents with feelings of fear and inadequacy.

In two-parent homes, this can be a huge task. For single parents, the task of raising children is made even more difficult. They may have some help from family and friends, but still the primary responsibility for their children rests on their shoulders alone.

There are many other single parents who do not have any help. They have to go it completely alone. They have no family to help, and their friends are unable or unwilling to help them. For these parents, the task gets even that much harder.

Single parents have to work to support their children, and this takes time away from the children. They do not do this because they want to be away from their children. They do this to support their children. It takes money to live, and this money must come from somewhere. It is hard to manage their time, but somehow these parents make it work. A single parent has to learn to make each minute count. They know the concept of quality time and use it to the fullest advantage.

Instead, of coming home and resting for a bit, they must fix dinner, clean the house, spend time with the kids, and many other tasks before they can finally take time to relax. This usually happens when the children go to bed.

There is no one to share these tasks with or to lighten their load. The single parent must complete the household tasks alone which makes for very long and seemingly endless days.

The idea of a super parent is one which is representative of single parents. They raise their children alone while dealing with the adversity, trials, hardships, poverty, crisis, turmoil and much more. Two parent families can share with each other, but the single parent deals with it alone. Single parents must do it all alone. Family and friends may help if they are available, but most of the effort is carried out alone by the single parent. Single parents without support have a much harder time.

Single parents may not be seen in our society or by the single parents themselves to be heroes, but to this writer they are heroes. They are heroes to their children and to those who recognize their efforts. They are heroes who receive no praise nor glory, and they ask for none. They make great sacrifices to raise their children, support their children, and provide homes for their children. They deserve to be recognized for their efforts, and we all need to help them when we can.

For the longest time, single parents were blamed for all that was wrong with the children within our society. There may still be many that hold this belief. If one is to blame and find fault with single parenting, one should first find out what it is like to be a single parent. If you believe they are doing it wrong, then maybe you should offer some help to them.

Of course, for many within our society, it is easier to cast blame. Offering help requires effort and responsibility from the one casting blame. Before you criticize single parents, try to understand them.

More support and efforts to help single parents is beginning to happen across this country, and this writer commends the efforts of those who are helping them. There is much more needed.

Although some choose this path, most single parents do not become single parents by choice, . Many have left abusive relationships, lost a spouse to death, been abandoned by the other parent, or other circumstances. Whatever put them into their single parent situation, they took on the task of raising their children even though they knew they would not have an easy time. They did not look for an easy way out. They did what they needed to do to provide as much stability for their children as they could. These parents faced their adversity and rose above with heart and determination.

Many children grow up in single parent homes and turn out to be responsible, upstanding citizens. They know the importance of working hard and develop good work ethics and values. Many grow up to respect the efforts of the single parent and have learned respect for others.

Many adult children of single parents, which I talked to, explain what it has meant to their lives to have been raised by their single parents. The quotes are listed below without last names. Last names were not used to protect their privacy. These quotes express the true impact of these single parents better then this writer ever could. The love these children have for their parents is expressed along with the great amount of respect they have the wonderful people who raised them.

Quotes from Adult Children of Single Parents

David says, "My mom raised me alone and no one could ever say she did it wrong. She was a great mom. She had to work two jobs to support me and my sister, but she never missed tucking us in at night and reading us a story before we went to bed. She was always at school functions and kept in communication with the teachers. I had a great childhood, and I do not believe I missed out on anything by being raised without a father."

Rachel says, "I would never have survived without my mother. She has always been there for me. We have had our difference, and we both reacted at times in ways that were not great. When I look back, I know she did her best and would always be there for me. No parent is perfect, and I know that my mother loves me. She worked hard and was always there to help me with whatever problem I have ever had. She is still there for me (age 27), and my brother (age 29) as she is needed. I do not know what I would ever do without her."

John says, "My father was a man who worked hard and had strong moral values. He was strict, but not mean. If he expected something from you, he always made sure you understood exactly what he expected and explained himself very clearly. He never hit me, but he could dish out the punishment when it was required. Believe me, it was required a lot. I was as head strong as he was, and it sometimes caused clashes, but we never let it go one long. We always worked it out. My father was a great dad. After my mother died, he took over and raised me alone. He had no other family to help him and would never have asked them if he did. I was his only child, and he always made sure I had everything I needed. I graduated college, and now I run my own business. My father and I are still close. "

Melanie says, "My father is the greatest. He raised two boys and two girls alone. The youngest was only two years old when my mother left. For all those years, he worked in a factory and ran the farm. We never went hungry or without anything we needed. At night we had our reading time when everyone would read a portion of their favorite book. Dad always encouraged reading and school. We all grew up happy, healthy, and we all became professionals. We still make sure we visit our dad once a week, and we call him regularly. He is now a grandfather to 6 children, and he loves each and everyone of them. He may have raised us alone, but there is not a one of us who is not grateful for our childhoods, and what he gave us."

Some closing thoughts

No parent is perfect. There are good and bad parents in single parent homes and in two parent families. We can't say all single parents are bad because we find that a few are bad. Abuse happens every where and in every type of family and background. It is wrong no matter where it is occurring or under any circumstances. There is not excuse for abuse.

Single parents like two parent families, are mostly those who care about their children and provide good homes for their children. We must not compare the majority by the minority. We must not blame the good for the acts of the bad.

Single parents deserve to be honored for their efforts. They deal with a great amount of emotional and financial hardship to raise their children. It is something which you can't possibly grasp fully unless you have been a single parent or are currently a single parent.

Instead of casting blame, try to lend a helping hand. Work with agencies within your community which are there to help single parents or start an agency to help them. Offer to baby sit for a single parent or offer other help as you are given the opportunity to do so. Any help you provide them is helping your community.

Single parents do what they do out of love, loyalty, responsibility, dedication, morality, and compassion. They ask for no praise; only understanding. They are special people taking on a great task. Show them the respect and admiration they would show to you in the same situation.

Single parenting use to be considered more a female role, but that is changing. More and more fathers are taking on the role of a single parent. This is great. I commend these fathers for their efforts in taking on such a challenging role. They are a credit to men everywhere. Their efforts, as much as the single moms, deserve to be recognized.

This article is directed at all single parents whether they are male or female.

Thank you to all single parents for taking on the tasks of raising your children alone with all the adversity you deal with daily. You are true heroes.

(This article is one of opinion and dedication. Many readers may not agree with the information it contains. This is fine. I do not ever expect full agreement on anything I write. Those who will probably agree will be those single parents who deal with these issues daily. It is for them that this article has been written. This is an article of opinion and dedication not one of statistics and other general concepts. More information is available under the resources heading with this article.)