Single Parents: When to Introduce Your Date to Your Children

The life of the single parent is two days worth of effort packed into one day. In some cases the single parent's emotions are left on the back burner of life as the years fly quickly by.

Soon the single parent feels the need to date again. And so the search for a suitable partner begins all over again. But this time around, it's more than just your parents who are interested in your dating habits.

No longer are you worried about introducing your date to your parents, this time it's your children that you're worried about. Endless questions enter your mind such as: are your children ready for someone new in their life, is it too early to introduce them to someone who may not stay around, and are you really ready to get back into a relationship?

New Beginnings

Getting back into the dating game can bring a multitude of emotions back into your family situation. Before you take this important step of introducing your children to someone new in your life, here are several things to keep in mind.

Is this new person in your life someone you would choose to be a permanent fixture in your family? Are your kids ready to emotionally accept someone new into their lives? And most important: is this relationship between you and your "new" partner one which will be good for the entire family? These are just several things to consider before a date is introduced to your children.

Bringing in a new date each week to meet your children does nothing but confuse them. Small children need a sense of routine and security, and with several dates being introduced to them their mental stability is being tested yet again.

Change of Family Status

Children don't need to be informed of everyone you go out with. But, when someone special comes along it might be time to tell them about your potential new partner. Listen to their comments as you tell them about the new person, and watch how they react to this new information.

If your relationship with this special someone has reached a serious stage of emotional development, and they might be a consistent part of your life, then maybe it's time to introduce everyone.

Make sure that your date has good morals and character before introducing them to your kids. Get to know this person, and find out who they really are. Is this person someone that you would feel comfortable with including into your family?

Of course before this time you've already told your date of your family status. If in fact they've stuck with you to this point with children involved, more than likely your partner is ready to meet your child, or children. Don't force anything before the time is right.

Emotional Changes

Make sure that your children understand and also accept that mommy and daddy are not going to get back together again. This is of most importance before you introduce your children to "anyone" new. This will prevent many undue hardships for the children involved. Your children must be able to understand this before anyone new is introduced.

If you've introduced a prospective suitor to your children before they were emotionally ready, it could possibly cause a number of destructive emotions such as: feelings of neglect, abandonment, jealousy and also replacement.

Young children need their own period of adjustment to stabilize their emotions after a divorce. Usually after a period of time an acceptance of change will take place in your child, and they will be ready to move on to new adventures. However, this is not in all cases, so be prepared.

Wait until the kids are emotionally ready before introducing a date of "any kind" to them. Everything must be done when the time is right. Does the date have all of the moral requirements needed to fit into your family? Is your relationship with this new partner stable? Are your children emotionally ready for a change in the family status again? If yes is the answer to these questions then it's probably time to introduce everyone.

Introductions

Now that you've already talked to your children about your date, and their ready to meet them, remember to take it slow. Give your children and the date time to talk and get to know one another.

Sometimes the child might not be quite ready to share you with someone new, so take it slow and easy, and don't rush into anything. Your children might be a little jealous at first of your attention to someone else. Young children are very adaptable to new situations, and "most times" adjust to this change rather quickly.

Help your children to understand that this date is not a replacement for the parent that has left the family. Instill in your children that the parent who has left the family is still their parent, and the love they have for their children still exists.

Young children need to understand that no one is ever going to replace the bond which you share with them. Time does in fact heal most wounds, but the emotional scars can remain with them for years to come.